why i’m fat positive.

I’m a lot of things: I’m queer, white, upper middle class, an organizer, a nerd, a clothes horse…

I’m also fat.

That’s an easy thing for me to say, and it’s a hard thing for many people to hear. And it impacts me more immediately, frequently and overtly than a lot of my identities.

When I tell people I’m fat, the most common reaction is panic: they assume I’m calling myself ugly, and they feel pressured or compelled to disabuse me of that notion. But people clearly notice my size all the time. Servers at restaurants notice it when they seat me. People on the bus notice it when they decide when and whether to make an empty seat available for me. Nurses notice it when they tell me I’ll have to be weighed as part of my physical, and then wince. It’s the worst-kept secret around. So I just put it out there: I’m fat.

Telling people I’m fat makes them uncomfortable. But telling them I’m fat positive makes people upset. Some get angry (“you’re endangering your health, and if you’re talking about this, you’re endangering other people’s health, too”). Some get shaming (“oh, so that’s why you dress that way. I just figured you didn’t know they were called skinny jeans”). Some even start to mourn (“I’m just worried about what will happen to you if you don’t even try.”). Most are just perplexed and they shut down, wondering on a very basic level why I think fat is okay.

Remarkably, very few people ask. So I figured I’d just say it.

I’m fat positive because I’m a feminist, and I refuse to acknowledge in the magical thinking that if you’re small enough, quiet enough, compliant enough and saccharine enough, you will somehow be enough.

I’m fat positive because I can’t afford to pay for two airline tickets just because the airline industry has decided that my body is the problem—not their outdated seats that haven’t changed in decades.

I’m fat positive because I’ve been fat my whole life. No matter how much I work out or how little I eat, my clothing has never dropped below a size 20 (I know!). I could spend my life in a gym, chasing some mirage that my body will never be, or I could focus on eating and moving in a way that makes me healthy and happy. Or, even more radically, I could not think about dieting, and know that my health is my own damn business. Either way, on the weight continuum, I’ll be somewhere between “superfat” and “ginormous.”

I’m fat positive because every day, fat people give up on all kinds of priorities and dreams because they’re fat. Granted, that’s a piss-poor reason to give up, but you know what? Social messages reinforce that thinking every day. I can’t go to the gym: I’m fat & I’ll be humiliated. I can’t date anyone: who would want to date a fatty? I can’t wear that outfit: I’m fat. Hell, I gave up on acting in college because I didn’t think I stood a chance. I may not have been a great actor, but I don’t know because I knew that being fat was rarely a leg up in auditions.

I’m fat positive because of the pervasive myth that fat women must be lesbians—the underlying assumption being that queer women can “give up” on their bodies, because they don’t “need” to attract men. I’m fat positive because I’m queer, and that shit is homophobic AND sexist.

I’m fat positive because I identify as queer, a category designed to upset essentialist thinking about sexuality and gender. There are tidy lines of thought that prescribe that male = man = masculine = straight, and female = woman = feminine = straight. Fatphobia is one of many things that props all that up. By regulating what our bodies can and can’t look like (in a very gender-specific way), fatphobia perpetuates normative gender and sexuality in a way that keeps all of us trapped.

I’m fat positive because I work at being an anti-racist ally, and fatphobia reifies systems of power that erase the bodies of many people of color, and that stereotype, parody and ultimately nullify their experiences. For example, in order to function as an anti-welfare trope, the welfare queen must be a woman (in this case, a single woman), a single parent (careless and promiscuous), poor (irresponsible), fat (slovenly) and Black (the Other, for middle class white voters). The welfare queen stereotype relies on some level on the fatness of the subject in order to function. And, on top of that, it’s predicated on a fear of someone “taking too much,” crossing boundaries and claiming resources that aren’t hers to take, an almost predatory image of a fat woman of color. This theme of “taking what’s not yours” is repeated with communities of color when it comes to welfare, English-only ballot measures, immigrant rights, and more. And, of course, it plays a core role in fatphobia: fat people eat too much, take up too much space, and generally exist to consume.

I’m fat positive because your weight doesn’t have any necessary relationship to your health, your attractiveness, your worth, your agency, your passions or your personality. But it does have a deep relationship to how others treat you, how you’re allowed to identify, and what kind of ramifications you may face if you reach beyond those bounds.

I’m fat positive because I like to hike and swim and do yoga. But bizarrely, while there’s an overwhelming sense of hostility to just being a fat lady living my life, that hostility is heightened immensely when I’m seen working out. (You’d think they’d like to see me doing something that’s associated with weight loss, wouldn’t you?)

I’m fat positive because there’s a huge, awful machine called the diet industry. It demands that we get as skinny as possible, and then get skinnier. And it tells us that the only way to get skinny is by spending hundreds of hours and thousands of dollars on gimmicks, pills and such. And know what that is? Classist.

I’m fat positive because, as Maria Bamford puts it, “L’Oreal: Because I’m worth it. And because holding myself to an impossibly high standard of beauty keeps me from starting a riot.” I’m fat positive because sometimes I think we ought to start a riot.

I’m fat positive because, despite my mother’s stellar politics and longstanding values, she couldn’t get past my being a fat kid. She’s a staunch feminist, and a wonderful and caring parent, but she still struggles with my fatness because of an ongoing and deeply destructive constellation of myths about what it means to be fat in the United States.

I’m fat positive because no matter what size you are, you shouldn’t be ashamed. You shouldn’t have to turn on the TV to see therapists making anorexic women cry, or see trainers shout at and shame fat people. I’m fat positive because I don’t think that anyone else should decide what’s okay for you to wear or eat or do or look like. I’m fat positive because even though no one should be subjected to that, millions of us are every day—and we’re shamed into silence and compliance.

253 thoughts on “why i’m fat positive.

    • Well you could start by shutting your ****ing mouth and going to the gym and stop being such a little phaggot and doing some ****ing squats and some deadlifts, understand? First you squat and then you deadlift, that’s the basics of lifting. You gotta squat and then you deadlift, that’s the only way to get jacked and you GOTTA DRINK AT LEAST A GALLON OF MILK A DAY, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?

      Also, lift heavy and take a multi.

      inafter man the harpoons

      inb4 make me a sammich

    • “I’m fat positive because I can’t afford to pay for two airline tickets just because the airline industry has decided that my body is the problem—not their outdated seats that haven’t changed in decades.”

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA. Troll detected.

    • Yo this article was amazing, and to all the haters out there… fuck them, I personally never had issues with weight, however, Its nice to see somebody happy with the way they are. So many of my friends have eating disorders and some even died trying to get the perfect body type. Not every one is meant to be a size 2. Some people are born bigger. My dads best friend was really over wieght, but married with kids and happy. she had tried for years to lose weight, and nothing worked. So She decided to undergo gastric bypass, and shortly after died due to complications, Even people who you think are perfect ,are also insecure and unhappy. So to truely find peace with your self and love who you are is amazing. It is nice you wrote this article for all the other people who went through the same struggles you have. Continue being fat positive and fuck all the people that are putting negative shit on your page. You should be proud of yourself and your article that you wrote … Continue to love yourslef because very few of us do.

  1. This is one of the first times I have ever read anything that struck spoke to the struggles that I have faced in my life. Trying to be a positive and uplifting individual is hard in a world that does not accept the skin I am in as one that is sexy, beautiful or even accepted as equal to others. Thank you for sharing the truth. Keep it coming!! I can’t wait to hear more about what you all have to say on this and other issues.

  2. right the fuck on. you articulated some ideas i had heard before but in new ways, and also ideas i hadn’t yet thought of, like the stereotype of fat people as over-consumers and how that overlaps with racist ideas about welfare. spot-on.

  3. Wow…i could made a flippant remark (“Will you marry me? I want to be you when I grow up!”) because i am really touched and impressed and jealous. I am not quite there yet… But it is wonderful to know that somebody is! Kudos.

  4. Sounds like you are using ignorance to build up a defense for your laziness. Very simple small changes in your life can have a drastic effect on your size. Not drinking soda has caused people to lose an easy 10, 20, even 30lbs. Park farther from the entrance to where you are going so you have to walk farther. Take the stairs, not the elevator. That diet industry you mentioned is simply focused on the stupid. Its a simply math equation of calories in, and calories out. Diet, simply exercise, and rest are all thats needed.

    • Thanks for the comment! You may have missed this part:

      “I’m fat positive because I’ve been fat my whole life. No matter how much I work out or how little I eat, my clothing has never dropped below a size 20 (I know!). I could spend my life in a gym, chasing some mirage that my body will never be, or I could focus on eating and moving in a way that makes me healthy and happy. Or, even more radically, I could not talk about dieting, and know that my health is my own damn business. Either way, on the weight continuum, I’ll be somewhere between ‘superfat’ and ‘ginormous.'”

      I’ve had more personal trainers, nutritionists, visits to fat camp, and gym memberships than you can count. And I’ve never not been fat. Believe me–no one knows more about the “simple, small changes” than fat people–strangers on the street tell me that kind of stuff all the time. I’m well aware, and I’ve tried it all.

      It also seems pretty unnecessary for you to call me ignorant and lazy without knowing any of that, and without knowing me. I welcome alternate points of view, but the personal stuff is beside the point.

      • Well I was skinny my whole life up to a year ago. I’m talking, looking like I just left a german death camp type skinny. I spent a good month doing research, and fast forward 13 months later, I had gained 40lbs, and not got fat. I feel better than I ever have in my life. There wasn’t a magic pill, nor did was it an easy flip of the switch. I changed my diet, and hit the gym for 90 minutes, 5 days a week. If you don’t want to go to a gym, there are numerous home routines like P90X. Ignorant and lazy may have been a bit harsh, but there is simply zero possibility of you staying the same size if every day you are using more calories than you are eating. If you don’t have the determination and motivation, thats perfectly fine. However to say you simply can’t, is a lie.

      • Don’t forget that every body is different and just because you had success in losing weight, some people don’t, and the author acknowledged that eating a healthy diet and getting exercise is important.

        What I got out of this blog was an opportunity to hold a mirror to my own fatphobia. We fatphobics need to unpack these feelings so we can start seeing everyone as equal regardless of what they look like. Not only that, but it wouldn’t hurt to see the beauty in everyone either, because I believe it is always present. Doing this is hard work because most of us suffer from the inferiority complex our media perpetrates on us.

        You’ve blamed the author for her fatness and when we blame people for their “condition” and say things like “well she’s just not working hard enough” it makes it easier to care less about her and demean her and other obese people. This is the same formula for dehumanizing people so we can hurt them more efficiently. This is why this is important. We must deconstruct.

        We see this cynicism all throughout our culture and I propose we end it.

        (I hope this rant was somewhat coherent)

      • I applaud your message. More women should give the bird to the cultural pressure to be skinny. BUT having been fat your whole life is NOT the same as being between ‘superfat’ and ‘gimormous’ I suspect that there is a lot more to this story than being ‘fat positive.’ In order to be ‘ginormous’ one would have to be sedentary and consume much more than is needed.

        I know every body type is different, but becoming obese is in no way purely genetic.

      • Wow Kevin, I love the way you mocked a woman standing up for her right to love herself AND compared yourself to a victim of genocide.

      • You are in control of your weight. Food, society, or hormones don’t control you. The diets and trainers and camps didn’t fail. You have to make them work.

        I grew up a fat kid. Lost all my weight at 20 through diet and exercise. It was hard. But just like for anyone else, it wasn’t impossible.

        I get really angry seeing someone trying to justify obesity. There’s virtually no excuse for the majority of overweight people. Just like Kevin said, calories in/calories out. It’s simple. Burn more calories than you eat and you lose weight. Works for everyone. If you were stranded on a desert island for 5 days with nothing but a fresh water supply and a couple of granola bars, you’d lose weight.

        Diets don’t work-you make your diet work. What you’ve written here is just a way of quiting something that’s hard and trying to justify it.

    • Hey Kevin,

      Here’s a heads up: the poster is in fact, correct. There are clinical reasons for obesity that occur regardless of how much physical effort you put into trying to lose weight.

      To name a few: inconsistencies with hormonal regulation, like hyperthyroidism, genetic mutations like those with the melanocortin 4 receptor gene, autoimmune disorders, side effects of medication like HRT, metabolic disorders, and imbalances in gut flora can all contribute to excess weight gain, that can be sudden onset, and very fast. I should add that none of these things happen to be very easy to diagnose either. Peer reviewed scientific journals back me up on this- I suggest browsing through PubMed and NEJM for some evidence-based studies to give you a better understanding of how clinical obesity works.

      Clearly, I’m not making a case for being unhealthy- and obesity comes with its own risk factors. But I AM making a case for thinking with our brains instead of following along with gross misrepresentations and misunderstandings of what it means to be ‘healthy’. I have loved ones who are fit and healthy with incredible diets and regular exercise, and their BMI still ranges in the overweight-to-obese range. These are friends who run, cycle, box, dance, and- guess what, they’re still fat, and they’ll likely always be fat.

      I might not be in total agreement with some of the original poster’s points, but nothing frustrates me more than a clear lack of understanding of scientifically valid fact. So let’s stop assuming that people haven’t tried to lose weight or are too lazy to take care of themselves. How about a little bit of support instead? People’s self-care is in their best interests. But I guess it’s easy to assume when you haven’t been in the position before.

      My two cents.

      • Why weren’t people fat in the 1940’s then? Why weren’t people fat from the birth of Christ until the end of ww2? This man was considered large enough to be in a freak show in the 1900s. Now this is not even considered THAT large. There is ZERO POSSIBILITY that someone can be fat without eating EXCESS CALORIES. You can justify your obesity by saying “I enjoy eating food”, “I would rather not work out”, etc. That’s completely fine by me. BUt saying that you are fat because of hormonal problems etc. is complete bullshit.

      • Why weren’t people fat in the 1940’s then? Why weren’t people fat from the birth of Christ until the end of ww2? This man was considered large enough to be in a freak show in the 1900s. Now this is not even considered THAT large. There is ZERO POSSIBILITY that someone can be fat without eating EXCESS CALORIES. You can justify your obesity by saying “I enjoy eating food”, “I would rather not work out”, etc. That’s completely fine by me. BUt saying that you are fat because of hormonal problems etc. is complete bullshit.


        Here’s the man who was considered a freak show obese person.

      • There’s one mistake in your statement. It’s hypothyroidism that causes you to gain weight, not hyperthyroidism. Hyper causes you to lose weight. I know because I’ve been diagnosed with hypothyroidism.

      • Hey Steve (who is obviously not Steve Rogers), you know why the majority of people weren’t fat in the 1940’s? Because there was a WAR on, okay? Word War Two officially started in 1939 when the Nazi Party of Germany came into power through their elected leader Adolph Hitler and invaded Poland. People in the Allied forces, and the Axis powers, were rationing supplies right and left, and training to fight each other. Furthermore, more people had less leisure time in general, due to lower technology and such. Kids played games outside with each other rather than a computer, it was a DIFFERENT CULTURE, with all the drawbacks (racism, sexism, more crimes were hidden due to social stigmas) and benefits (more recess time, people talked to one another rather than to computers, music that was a bit nicer in its lyrics towards women) thereof.

    • Kevin,

      The second law is a fine thing to triumph, but don’t forget that the human metabolism isn’t a Bunsen burner. It’s a complex mechanism that runs hotter for some and cooler for others. Which means, of course, that person A, naturally skinny, could have a resting metabolic rate that ‘burns’ 2400 kilocal a day, and a naturally fatter person could have a resting metabolic rate that ‘burns’ 1800 kilocal a day. Also, there are other variables in the metabolic equation that could explain more efficient fat storage.

      It’s not well-understood, but what we *do* know is that the human metabolism as you described is a false conception, thrust upon us in diet propaganda both in commercial and when we’re children getting shamed at the yearly weigh-in.

      It’s been known for quite a long time, and is very well-known in the field of obesity research, that weight is hereditary. Estimates have ranged anywhere from 40% – 77% (and more recent stuff has tended to support a higher number). To give you an idea for what that means, height is about 70% – 80% hereditary.

      You can choose to believe that or not – I certainly wouldn’t blame you for any incredulity, since the common wisdom concerning fat paints it as something completely under our control – but it won’t change the fact that even the most pro-restriction research hasn’t been able to peg the heritability of weight at less than 40%. And this is apart from other factors that can cause weight gain, such as medical conditions like PCOS, insulin resistance, some thyroid conditions, and medications like SSRIs.

      You’re right in one sense: you can, technically, stuff your face in a sitting position all day long and gain a lot of weight, or restrict to 1000 cal a day and do 4 hours of exercise a day every day for the rest of your life and lose weight. But the hard work you’d need to invest in both ventures, not to mention the sharp decrease in quality of life, is something not many people choose to do (or are psychologically/physically able to keep up). They are a very small percentage of the population – that is, not your typically thin person or fat person. I think estimates are around 2% – 5% on the thin side, and less than 3% on the heavy side. It’s difficult, because eating disorder prevalence (triggered in large part by the diet industry, in my opinion) tends to skew the numbers a bit.

      Most people eat fairly normally (when they’re hungry, sometimes extra during holidays or for comfort, sometimes less when they’re busy or ill), and exercise fairly normally (2 – 5 hours or so of moderate exercise a week, including walking, biking, gym, vigorous housework, gardening, chasing after kids, etc). The vast majority of people, in fact. Yet, there is a diverse range of body sizes in that sample. Why? Because that’s our human programming.

      During famine we’re all a little lighter and during plenty we’re all a little heavier, but we still exhibit that range of types, just shifted up and down depending on environment, and not particularly that much (perhaps a matter of 15 – 20 lbs, the exact number is still debatable).

      In general, that is why some people are fatter than others as a matter of course.

      • Abigal – Thanks so much for your comment. I was wondering if you can provide any references for what you wrote. All too often fat positive conversations go to the place Kevin took it and so it would be great for the rest of us to answer as you did, and back it up with links to the med/science literature. Much appreciated!

      • I understand there are variables. Take my metabolism for example. Its through the roof. I’m currently eating over 4,000 calories a day, and over 200 grams or protein trying to gain muscle. However, I’m not ranting on being skinny-postive, and making excuses. I did my research, found a diet plan for myself, as well as a workout schedule, and have stuck to it for 13 months now. Now there would be nothing wrong with my staying skinny, but for me to toss out excuses about my metabolism, and say things like society needs to stop portraying an image of men being all muscular would simple be a lie. I have accepted who I am, and will continue to face the challenges to be who I want.

      • I like how you exclude the middle, diets don’t have to be 1000 calories a day and working 4 hours a day, That is totally ridiculous, you don’t have to be that extreme to lose weight it just requires some consistency and time. And some people may be more predisposed to storing calories as fat due to low non-exercise thermogensis and naturally thin people have more of, but if you eat at maintenance you will not gain weight if you eat less you will lose weight if you eat more then you will gain weight.

        But think about it, if you have fat parents and your entire family is either over-weight or obese wouldn’t you think that it is just that they were brought up in a lifestyle of eating in excess and not doing much? I was a little chub for a long time growing up and my parents forced me to run and work out. As I got older I became more self conscious and took it upon myself to lose weight (and mainly did it for wrestling)

    • Kevin, you are obviously the ignorant one. I counted calories, worked out constantly, and guess what — lost 30 pounds. But I was starving myself and overworking my body, and I was sick.

      Now, I lift weights four times a week. I swim on the weekends, run or bike five days a week. I eat healthy, whole foods, plenty of veggies every day and fruit for breakfast. I’m 5’6″ and my weight remains at 165, just 20 pounds from where I started when I lost the weight.

      I’m healthy. I never get sick. I love to exercise. But you just can’t change some things! All girls aren’t meant to be fucking skinny! Neither are guys!

    • Regardless of what she can do to lose weight, I think the main point is that she doesn’t want to, and shouldn’t have to. No one else’s body is your business, and it’s not your job to tell her that she’s unhealthy or lazy. Don’t give people advice they don’t want or need in order to justify your regulation of their bodies.
      Besides, there are already so many fat negative voices out there, many aimed especially at women, that we need don’t need to hear from another person telling us why we should be ashamed about our bodies.

    • In response to Kevin- I have some insight that many don’t. I lived for 34 years as a female, and then at 34 transitioned to male. I started testosterone. The pounds started dropping off, even though I ate twice as much. My body started not storing weight for potential pregnancy, but using it as fuel to build muscle. I got so many comments from gym bunny men “wow you look great, you’re working out” when in fact, I was not working out (before I was working out all the time, and had hypothyroidism and didn’t know it, and was eating vegan food and my gf was becoming skinny why I was ballooning up)…

      I can tell you from experience…it is MUCH easier to lose weight as a male, with testosterone, than it is as a female. The testosterone does not make your body store food as possible fuel for two, it’s just a fact. So…your statement is ignorant…Not that I expect differently because it’s along the lines of what the rest of the world thinks…but I hope that someday, those of us who have insight (same body, same eating habits, same mentality and “willpower”, but different hormones having an entirely different effect on weight gain and loss) will be able to educate the world…to show you the simplicity is not about “just consume less calories than you burn” but also “men have it easier”

      • Nick! Fellow trans guy here and I have had the exact same experience, and read the whole thread thinking, when is a trans person on hormones going to discuss the different properties of t or e on weight and muscle mass? I starved myself and worked out three hours a day as a dysphoric teenager and was a
        considered a “stocky girl” and treated like ass. In my twenties I went on t, got top surgery, ate normal meals and rarely exercised, and suddenly I’m a skinny muscular guy who has his ass kissed. Due to situations beyond my control, I was thrown off t (and am still desperately trying to find some any way, any how, I am miserable and dysphoric without it), and, lo and behold, back to having hips, an ass, and losing the cut lean musculature and broad shoulders I adored. Oh, and back to being treated like ass. It is no surprise to me that the majority of commenters telling the writer of this article that she just needs to diet and exercise and then she’ll be thin are CIS MEN. to them, I say, look at all the nudes of cis men and cis women throughout the history of art. Notice that up until recently, the women are what our present culture calls fat while the men remain fairly standard to what is considered ideal today. It is far harder for someone with an estrogen based hormone system to be thin or even average weight no matter what their diet is than it is for someone with a testosterone based hormone system! Add that to the ridiculous obsession with weight that anyone socialized as female experiences and you have a perfect storm of eating disorders waiting to happen. Any trans women here who had the opposite experience of myself and Nick when they started estrogen?

    • Good post Kevin. You will be bombarded with excuses, studies, and “reasoning” about how you’re wrong and insensitive. I was fat and now I’m not. I read below where I have it easier because I’m a guy. So I guess my accomplishment isn’t as big a deal as a woman who loses weight. Weird thing was I had to exercise, eat healthy, be hungry sometimes, and actually try in order to lose my weight.

    • Know what’s actually lazy? The mindset of people like Kevin. It’s important for them to hang onto that, though, rather than putting out the effort to just accept people as they are and accept that people–no matter how fat–get to run their own lives, because it feeds their own sense of self-worth to be able to criticize and look down on someone they like to categorize as lazy and ignorant. And that’s true ignorance.

    • I am overweight; I take the stairs everyday at work; I don’t drink soda; I don’t search for the nearest parking spot; I am not lazy. I am Fat.

    • Thanks for your input, Kevin, but we fat girls have heard it all, tried it all, and we’re still fat. So go fuck yourself, Kevin.

    • It’s actually not that simple Kevin. I’m about 70lbs overweight. I run 3 times a week and strength train 3 times a week for at least 30 minutes. I also don’t eat very much. In fact, I probably eat less than most thin people. I eat approximately 1200 calories a day. I hardly ever eat out (maybe 2 times a month). I’ve been working my ass off for 4 months and haven’t seen any results. Before you say “well maybe you’re not working hard enough”, just think about that maybe it’s not that easy for some people (especially women because we are designed to store and carry more fat due to pregnancy and parturition). My point is that instead of shaming people and putting them because of their weight, why don’t we encourage and lift people up. You don’t know how hard it is to stay motivated when you don’t see any results and people are constantly putting you down and calling you ugly because you have some extra fat.

    • I’d like to add my 2 cents to this.

      Let’s not beat around the bush. Overcoming obesity is not to be taken lightly – it is extremely difficult. It is such a mental game and simple changes just won’t suffice. The metabolism is delicate and nuanced and there are so many factors that influence it. Eating less and moving more is a fundamental part of fat loss but it is not the whole picture.

      Metabolisms adapt quickly to exercise and caloric intake. If you are consistently eating too little, it won’t work. You will have to slowly reduce your calories every few weeks in order to get results and it is common to see people end up dangerously under-eating and seeing no progress.

      I personally really like this article and I find it nice to hear that someone is body confident. My personal perspective is that you can love yourself and your body while chasing a goal of being healthy, the two are not mutually exclusive. Everyone knows that obesity is unhealthy, but you need to WANT change in order to get it. Many people give up on their goals of fat loss after multiple failures trying different diets and programs. That is where the failure lies – in giving up. I also would argue that by giving up on that goal you are not loving yourself any longer as you are not fueling your body, fulfilling your potential and creating a healthy lifestyle.

      I am extremely lucky as I was born athletic. I know that is a privilege that many people are denied. But even someone who was born with a natural ability for sports can struggle with their weight, as I have. Every single person is different, no diet will fit all, but once you find a way of eating and living that works for you, you will be shocked at how amazing you feel. Your quality of life will drastically improve and that is worth working for and fighting for. The trial and error process of finding something that works is PAINFUL and SLOW. It takes patience and organisation but it is so worth it. You must be consistent with eating healthily. There are no quick fixes. Eating healthily means BALANCE and includes eating your favourite foods but in moderation – they cannot form the basis of your every day diet.

      I am fat positive, but I also see that many (not all!) obese people are miserable and their health is suffering. I cannot support that when I know how great it is to wake up every day with energy and feel healthy. I want that for others! We can support each other and inspire each other, shaming fat people is not going to get anyone anywhere. Let’s love our bodies and fuel them properly and give them the care and attention they deserve.

  5. Well, it certainly didnt take long for the concern-trolls to come out. i, for one, will not be feeding them. This post is amazing, beautiful, and much needed. Thank you again ❤

  6. Thank you for being fat positive, and for just being you! It sounds corny, but think about how much energy people waste wishing they were someone else. Save the planet! Be yourself!

  7. That was great – it articulates my experience and probably the experience of many others. My weight is the least important thing about me but if I listen to society I would have to spend most of my energy on it.

  8. This is amazing, and I posted it on Facebook. Check out my blog vansterdamn.blogspot.com about being fat in roller derby – and hooray for the FAT ARMY! Go Deathfat Go!

  9. Kevin, you’re a dick. Accept it and move along. Individuality is a right, and given that no one here needs to be force fed your ignorance. You’ve obviously never been fat. While you HAVE dealt with being too thin, and you have SOME understanding of the struggles involved with changing your physique- it in no way qualifies you to come here and preach. Are you a doctor? Have you spent years trying to diet, to fit into societies mold to the point where your metabolism is shot (and had that confirmed by multiple physicians)? I HAVE an it’s ignorance and pompous attitudes like yours that allow the radical diet asshattery to continue.

    Alas, I’ve now sunk to your level. Spewing words at a complete stranger because I have been in the OP’s shoes. Mea culpa. Now go away.

  10. Hi,

    I hope. No. I pray that my adult daughter reads this and just gets it. Really gets it. She has been ground down to pebbles by the world of fat-phobes.

    Eventually she will be dust. Or, she will read this and pull up her granny panties and become a rock again.

    I don’t know but with people like you in the world, maybe there are still chances.

    Thank you.

  11. wow, i can’t even describe to you how much this really deeply touched me. what a great analysis of so many issues. i have so much more to say, but it wouldn’t fit into this little box. so much love and respect to you. stay strong!

    In Solidarity!

  12. Really needed this today! The part about heightened hate toward my fat self exercising has been getting under my skin lately. I am unbelievably weary of the maddening combo of patronizing self righteousness and mean spirited hypocrisy that i am forced to endure in turns. All for just walking out the door, fat. Thanks for improving both the noise to signal ratio and my faith in humanity.

  13. You may get tired of hearing this, but thank you for the post. I wish more people had this attitude! I used to be skinny as well, and I remember that it was never enough! I love my body as it is now more than I EVER did before! Thanks again.

  14. Hey. Beautifully said. Thank you.


    Kevin. Your programming is showing. You can get help for that. Here is a place to start.

    I even looked it up for you, because you so obviously need the help of strangers for this terrible problem that you don’t seem to know you have.

  15. Yes. This is perfect. It’s always hard to explain to people what I mean when I say I’m fat-happy because they think I should be on this diet or pill or that ridiculous regime. I love this so much. thanks for writing it! It’s nice to know there are other people with similar ideals.

  16. Goddamn Brilliant.

    Why is it that we spend so much time in modern society getting entangled in our own political correctness, energy in stamping out any slightly offensive comments in the media relating to race, gender and sexuality (and rightly so) and yet fatism is completely fairgame? Perhaps its so deeply entrenched in our collective psyches (fat = lazy, end of story) that we don’t even question it.

    The great feminine beauty myth. The opiate of the masses. Whilst we spend so much time obsessing over our weight (and everyone does, its so very boring) we’re not focusing on the interesting, the outrageous and the important. Feminism still has a long way to go until this is addressed.

    That’s the first step. Thank you…

  17. I’m an Aboriginal woman from a large, extended family. Everyone of my mother’s family of nine is over 220 lbs, some more than 300 lbs. I am a bit overweight, 160 lbs, but don’t stress about it and have never seriously dieted in my life. I gained the last 20 lbs in the last 12 years during my middle age (and after working in a sedentary office job). That said bad health can happen to any person, with any body type. We have all heard of athletes in the prime of their life dying of a heart attack. If only society laid off pressuring overweight people to buy into dieting (which usually doesn’t work), expensive gym memberships, and, the worst, stomach stapling and cosmetic surgery. If we can all accept who we are, in our different shapes and sizes and not glorify the shrinking size that trends smaller and smaller every year. Face it only 12 year old girls are naturally thin as models in the media – and every year anorexic models die. No grown woman should every strive to be that unrealistic size. Strive to be the best person you are, and you will be more healthy for it. Happy, healthy, people come in all sizes, enjoy who you are.

  18. awesome article and very on point! thx for being radical and sharing this. This is important stuff.
    …i suppose cause ya tagged the blog fat and such ads by google had a great big lose weight ad…ironic in such a special way 😉

    • I wrote a post on my blog recently about how I was struggling with my fibromyalgia… my partner clicked on the post and got one of those “miracle cures for fibromyalgia” ads. sigh.

  19. You are awesome. Note the irony: The google add on this page when I read it was one about dieting. Now, I know it’s not that big of a surprise since their algorithms scan pages for words such as “fat”, but amusing–condescendingly –nonetheless.

  20. What a great post! I have always been fat but it was only recently that I got to a point where I said “I’m happy with myself the way I am.” My whole life I was ashamed, but I finally outgrew it and realized I am a great person and that is what matters. I can really relate to a lot of what you said here (as a lot of women can) and there are some connections that I never really thought about. Great!

  21. I cannot express how excited I was to read this! Some of your lines so sum up my feelings on betraying my own feminism by following diets, and refusing to buy into the beauty myth. Wonderful work!

  22. A friend of mine posted this on Facebook and I had to reply.

    I have spent the past month in the hospital (diagnosis- anorexia nervosa, purging subtype). I gained 12 pounds there and even though my life is sh*t now because of my eating disorder, all I can focus on is how disgusting I feel I look.

    I had plenty of people tell me how much better I looked when I was restricting to 500 calories a day or purging, working out an hour a day, and eating laxatives like they were m&m’s. The only person, besides my therapist and psychiatrist, who told me I looked like shit was my hairstylist. It fuels the fire- and just goes to show you that people don’t know what healthy looks like.

    I am truly envious of people who are comfortable in their own skin and I applaud you for putting yourself out there in forums like this. I know there will be those who ridicule you, but there are also those of us who will take a moment to think about our own lives and maybe take something away from your openness.

    I just want to make one little correction. When therapists make anorexic women cry, it isn’t necessarily a bad thing. A lot of us use our eating disorders to numb ourselves and crying means we are feeling. 🙂

  23. I am crying…for the truth, the beauty and the pain that being myself has often been brought on by the reactions of others…
    sometimes I wonder what would have life held if I had just
    “fit in”. Pun intended.
    Despite of/because of “it all” my life has and continues to be a wonderful ride.
    Thank you for your fat positive sharing and opportunity to be part of this discussion.

  24. very cool. so many people are happy to hear what you said. if only that were true…
    you are fat because you are sensitive, probably very sensitive and you have emotional issues. your weight is a symptom of that.
    you are fat-positive because you have no choice. would you support alocoholic who is drunk-positive? cocaine-positive? you are doing the same – just with sugar rushes and insuline rushes ect.
    your soul has no size and even if you wrap it in size 30, it will still be beautiful and gentle and unique. it wants to live – so let it.
    you fat blocks between you and life.once it is gone, you’ll have to deal with it. it is scary and stuff – but you can do it. find a good energy medecine healer, go and melt that fat with a lot of tears and love and awareness.
    start today. go and google some help. not for your body. for your heart. keep me posted!

    • OH WOW! I never thought of exercise and eating “healthy”! *jawdrop* I never thought of “Googling help”. Wow, if only I’d gone on a diet and done some exercise, I’d be thin right now! Thank God for you Ellie and your wisdom, telling fat people just what to do to “cure” our fat. I’m gonna start TODAY! *end sarcasm*

      The only thing that stops fat people from living their lives to the fullest are the people who tell them they can’t, and bully and shame them so much that they feel they have to hide away. The only thing fat people are wrapped in is a patronising culture that treats them like they’re less than thin people.

      We’re fat because we’re fat. We’re fat because of genetics, and culture, and environment and a myriad of other reasons. And guess what? It’s none of your damn business.

      Fat people aren’t stupid. We’ve all been on diets and exercised and lots of us have had eating disorders thanks to the pressure to be thin. We know what Google is. Guess what? We’re still fat! We’re still here.

      And we’re not going away. We’re choosing to live our lives positively despite narrow-minded people who think we have never considered a diet or don’t know how to Google. We’re reclaiming our lives and our bodies, despite patronising people like you assuming we’re stupid and sad.

      • hey there. even your nickname is about food. sleepy food.
        yeah… and you are pretty aggressive for a sleepy dumpling. i am scared to think how you react when you are an awake dumpling.. anyway…

        so, not stupid and not sad – so mmm i guess, what, smart and happy, please show me where i mentioned anything about “healthy living”, “exercise” or diet”. ?????????

        i said : fat is a symptom of a deeper untreated problem. a hurting soul is hiding under layers of fat.
        i said: google ENERGY HEALER.
        i said: HEAL YOUR SOUL
        (it’s in caps not because you are stupid but because i would like you to actually read what is there and not what you want to be there so you could just ramble and go back to sugar)
        and here is my question to you (be honest): say, tomorrow they announce a new pill: you take it, you go to bed, you wake up at your normal weight (not VOGUE weight, but you know, normal, where your heart and other body organs are not in danger). No side effects, no nothing. it’s free. Would you take it?

      • Yeah, my nickname is about food. How dare I have a nickname about food while being a fat person?? If you google the nickname, you might find the reference. Are only thin people allowed to have nicknames that are about sleep or food?

        And guess what? Someone who is told to “stop eating and diet” is allowed to be angry at someone who is ignorant. You bet I’m angry. I’m angry at every ignorant bigot who makes assumptions based on the size of another person’s body.

        You know NOTHING about any fat person. You know nothing about their diet, exercise, lifestyle, emotional state, nothing. So how can you make assumptions about what any fat person needs for their health? How do you know theyhave any consumption of sugar? Have you seen it somewhere? Have you met them and asked them? Are you their doctor?

        Why do you even care about my health or anyone else’s? The answer is you don’t. You just don’t like seeing fat people. What their health is like means nothing to you, you just use that to justify your bigotry.

        And whether or not I or anyone else would take a some kind of magic pill is not one iota of your business.

        In fact, nobody’s body is one iota of your business, except YOUR OWN.

        So go mind that business.

      • Ellie, I sympathize with SleepyDumpling’s rage – I feel the same rage. However, instead of yelling at you, I would encourage you to read “When Women Stop Hating Their Bodies,” an amazing book you can easily find on Amazon. You might also want to check out Kate Harding’s Shapely Prose archive, The Rotund and Fatshionista, my favourite websites. There is also a great site for HAES (Health At Every Size). Fat people aren’t fat because they have a problem, whether emotional or physical. They are fat because they are not skinny. I know that sounds silly, but it is profound. Give it a think.

  25. I struggle so much with my weight everyday. I exercise, eat well, play sports, walk to work everyday and still what my doctor calls “overweight”. It is exhausting and it seems that the only way I can lose weight is if I starve myself, which I decided I don’t want to do anymore.

    Thank you so much for being positive

    • Starving yourself only slows your metabolism. You need to eat 5-6 properly portioned meals a day to keep your metabolism going strong.

  26. Beautiful words!

    Just wanted to add the tought that YOU aren’t fat – your essential you is not fat, it’s perfect. You are currently living the EXPERIENCE of being fat. Good for you for holding the courage to challenge the cultural mindset around this!

  27. I see skinny, white, welfare queens all the time, and identify them as such. Just because someone thinks that others shouldn’t take the amount of money they do from social programs doesn’t mean they hate fat, black women, nor do they think fat, black women are the only ones taking it. You’re being ignorant when you make such a comment, and don’t try to say that because there are some racist idiots out there we all must be.

    Weight is related to your overall health, and a person who is overweight will have more health problems, that is an objective truth.

    If you want to be fat, then be fat and damn anyone who looks down on you for it, but don’t twist your perception of reality until you convince yourself that it is a positive, and only positive, thing. Deceiving yourself is bad enough, but with all the health problems that being overweight creates (and I know this because I’m fat and have had to deal with health issues stemming from it) it is shameful you would attempt to convince others of your twisted view. There’s a difference between having self-confidence and being happy with yourself and having such a severe lack of self-esteem that you cannot even admit your own faults. I have confidence, I am happy with myself, and I am fat, but I am wise enough to know being fat is detrimental.

    Airlines should charge fat people for two seats. You’re being selfish when you say they shouldn’t. What about the person sitting next to the fat person who has to deal with someone intruding on their personal space? But damn that person sitting next to the fatty right? Damn the working man who has to pay an increased insurance premium because health care costs for the overweight are significantly higher and the number of overweight people is increasing. Damn everyone else! Only fat people matter! Right?

    • If airlines should charge fat people for two seats, how about charging tall people for two seats? I for one am fed up with some tall dude sitting behind me jamming his knees in my back, pushing against my seat. What about broad shouldered people? Damn them for their shoulders encroaching across those narrow seats and into my space.

      And while we’re at it, let’s charge men for two seats. The way they sit with their legs apart, spreading their knees over to my space… that’s just rude!

      Psst… your ignorance is showing Nate. Thought I’d better let you know there.

  28. Reading blog posts like this is hard for me, as I come from a place of body-image issues and e.d. Reading blog posts like this being hard is a good thing. It helps me to continue my journey of working with the body I have instead of damning it, crying about it, and wishing it would be something else. The dialogue is needed and I thank you, very much, for opening this subject up in a thought provoking, heart-felt, and powerful way. I commend you and your strength.

  29. Interesting post.

    I have a question about airline seats. You called them “outdated.” I’m not sure what you meant, but to me it suggests that people are fatter now than they used to be, and so the airlines should make their seats bigger.

    This cuts against your argument that being fat is mostly hereditary and that no amount of eating healthily and exercise can change that. If people are fatter now than they were two decades ago (necessitating bigger seats), isn’t that because of societal changes in diet and exercise? Or, if not because of diet and exercise, then because of another, non-genetic reason, right? In other words, if a fat person can’t help being fat, then why are we so much fatter now than we were twenty years ago?

    I mean, no matter if it is genetic or as a result of personal choice, no one should be humiliated and discriminated against because of their appearance. Relatedly, I get so irritated when people say obesity is unhealthy. Smoking is really unhealthy, as is not eating enough vegetables and texting while driving. But smokers are carnivores are not subject to humiliation.

    • There is just as much social stigma against smoking as there is against being overweight, if not more.

      Eating meat is not unhealthy. In fact, it was a diet of meat (most importantly the fat that came with it) that assisted with the increased growth of brain mass in early humans. Eating processed meats piled high with ketchup and BBQ sauce? Well, yes, that is unhealthy, but not because it’s meat, rather because of the way it is prepared.

      You make a great point in the first two paragraphs, but your third paragraph is garbage.

      Also, you said you get irritated when people say obesity is unhealthy. The truth should never irritate you. Even if what you said about meat and smoking was true, two wrongs don’t make a right. The attitude towards smokers and carnivores does not change the fact that being obese is unhealthy.

      • Smokers are not denied jobs and passed over for promotions because they smoke. Fat people are.

        I’m irritated with the “unhealthy” argument not because it isn’t true, but because it simply doesn’t justify the way fat people are treated, particularly in light of the fact that unhealthy people are generally not stigmatized.

    • Annie, I’m assuming you’re being genuinely earnest in your question about the change in our collective size making airline seats “outdated”. To that question, I offer this: http://www.cbc.ca/natureofthings/episode/programmed-to-be-fat.html

      This is a very compelling documentary that addresses research that is showing that the man-made chemicals in our environment may actually be what is making us fat. I found it very compelling. Please, take a look at it.

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  31. “I’m fat positive because I can’t afford to pay for two airline tickets just because the airline industry has decided that my body is the problem—not their outdated seats that haven’t changed in decades.”

    Uhm, excuse me? Your body IS the problem––there has been a surplus of obese individuals in the past few decades. Why? Sorry, but not everybody has a clinical disorder; it actually turns out to be a rather small percentage. The rest are just lazy and ignorant, for whatever reason.

    • The only ignorance I see right here is from you and your like Emma.

      Fat bodies aren’t the problem… narrow minds like yours are.

      Read something other than money grubbing newspapers and magazines and get some facts before you start making sweeping statements like this.

      And while you’re at it go back and read this article properly.

      • Fat bodies are a problem. Narrow minds are a problem. This is not an either-or thing.

        It’s all well-and-good to be “fat positive,” it really is. I commend the poster for a fascinating and brave article. Many of us, though we would be loathe to admit it, do have prejudice toward the overweight, often of the condescending variety (I worry, for example, that my fat friends must be “depressed,” because why else would they eat so much?). It’s good to open our eyes now and then.

        As many of you have mentioned here, different people have different metabolism rates and body chemistry – there are dozens of reasons why some burn calories with ease, and some don’t. All true. However: show me a case where someone burns more calories than they take in over a significant length of time (with a protien-rich diet) and actually gains weight (not including muscle mass, of course). I’m not saying such people don’t exist, but they are exceptionally rare, and almost certainly not posting on this board.

        I feel for significantly overweight people when I see “The Biggest Loser,” a show with good intentions, but one that sees fat (and, thus, fat people) as the enemy, as a result of emotional distress and general laziness. Because not only do fat people have to endure that, they also have to watch case studies where these people actually DO lose weight. Some gain it all back, but they ALL end up with a significantly different body…a slap in the face to anyone who believes “it just isn’t possible for me to lose weight.”

    • Thank you Emma. Why should should a company give up profits, and increase seat sizes because people in today’s society eat a horrible diet, and get fat?

    • I’m pretty sure the airline seats have gotten smaller in the past 20 years. I’m a small person and I find them too close and uncomfortable.

  32. Hey!
    Thank you for your amazingly eloquent words.
    The part about your mother resonates deeply for me. My mother’s mind was polluted by her mother’s and she duly fed me the doctrine.
    I am proud to say I haven’t dieted or even considered doing it in 20 years. I had some success with weight watchers in college, lost about 60lbs… and enjoyed the way I looked. But the amount of compliments I got, and the way most of the complimenters went out of their way to make SURE I understood that when they said I looked good they were specifically referring to my size… it was creepy.
    Of course I gained it all back. And I didn’t freak out about it. And I think I look fine and I know I look the way I’m supposed to.

    And my mom and grandmother will never, never get it.

    • you know what? i read your blog – you have a talent – why would you waste it on food?
      and by the way, i think, you are the biggest fat-hater. you hate yourself and would do anything to be thin. it’s just that what you are doing is wrong. no gym or diet can solve any problem. but as you said, i do not care. so go, surround yourself with people who would support your slow self-killing. depression? i looove it! loneliness? give me 2!
      so before i go – here is a secret. do not tell anyone. everybody here who told you that fat is beautiful and you should continue your noble fight, are -well – lying. everybody. EVERYBODY. noone likes fat. noone wants to be fat. and that is the fact no blog or tatoo can cover.

      • ellie I’m sorry. I didn’t realise you had difficulties with literacy and comprehension. There is help you can get, adult literacy classes, or you can go to your local library and talk to the librarians there. They’ll direct you to help with your literacy and comprehensive skills.

        Once you get help with that, you might understand what you read both here and on my blog.

        All the best!

      • “everybody here who told you that fat is beautiful and you should continue your noble fight, are -well – lying. everybody. EVERYBODY. noone likes fat. noone wants to be fat. and that is the fact no blog or tatoo can cover.”

        I have spent a lifetime being told that I am less-than because I am fat. You know what? Fuck that. I don’t have to wait to start my life, no matter what any Jenny Craig commercial says.

        No one likes fat? I do. I LIKE FAT VERY MUCH.

      • Ellie – I’m trying to see things from your point of view, but I can’t seem to get my head out of my fat ass.

        You’re ignorant, plain and simple. You do NOT speak for the masses, as much as you may wish you did. We don’t “hate you because you’re beautiful/skinny”, we dislike you because your IQ is lower than my jeans’ size and you are rude, insulting, and blatantly ignorant.

        So, “noone (sic) likes fat” you say? Meeep -WRONG. There are a LOT of people who prefer people with some meat on them. Search the net, educate yourself. Quit being so damned ignorant.

      • my husband loves me. I met him because I made a comment that I’m a pretty, fat, (long list of things I am) and he liked all the things on the list, including my size.
        who the fuck are you Ellie, to think that you speak for the entire world. My best friend is above average size, my boss is above average size, and her husband and my husband and my boss’ husband are all HOT men, with above average intelligence. We are are all active women, with full lives, who have kids (except me), go to school, play roller derby, go to yoga, eat healthy food three times a day and work full time. we all find balance in our lives, and don’t happen to find airline seats, college desks, and other archaically one size fits all designed seats to be comfortable. there is a movement called Universal design. you should read about it. It’s not your place to assume that we are unlovable based on our size, and that’s basically what you just said. No one likes fat? no Ellie, you can’t comprehend how anyone could hold a viewpoint other than yours. I assure you that I only have to take off my clothes to discover what my husband “likes”. live and let live. I’m sure if we looked, we’d find 10 things you do that “no one likes.” what makes you so fucking special?

      • Hey Theresa “Badresa” – I play roller derby too, up in Canada! Where do you play? I have a blog about being a big ass derby girl (it’s in the comments above too) vansterdamn.blogspot.com – I would love to swap fat derby talk if you’re into it.

      • Ellie is one of those people so brainwashed by mainstream culture that she literally cannot imagine someone having tastes or preferences other than what society tells us we should find desirable. I hear her non-logic of “no one likes fat” in other ridiculous statements such as “no one would be queer if they didn’t have to”, “of course trans people are less desirable partners than cis people” and “all women want to look like models and want babies and weddings”. The sad thing is that her false consciousness serves as a way to say that all of us are harboring under delusions when we dispute her woefully narrow view of what we “should like” and “should want”. This is exhibit a for why I have very little hope in ever getting through to people on such issues. From a trans, queer, fat ally.

  33. I stand with you on discrimination and not looking down on fat people, I just don’t know that fat positive is the right term to use. If you are healthy and kicking ass that awesome and positive, but there is nothing positive about being so fat it’s killing you-which is what is happening to me.

    We should tolerate all our differences, but with everyone getting fatter, due to the cheep food and lifestyle we are all now used to, we need to be looking into the ways both skinny and fat women are abusing their bodies and why. While doing this we shouldn’t be shaming anyone.

  34. awesome. I definitely think that this needs to be said. I actually wrote a blog post about this same subject after seeing a beautiful girl feel horrible about herself on MTV’s show “I used to be fat”. The on a tiny level has the right idea, but for all the wrong reasons. The majority of women in this world will never be able to conform to unrealistic standards of beauty. I am beautiful inside and out. And I’m healthy. And I’m fat. So there!

  35. This post is amazing. I could have written it, it resonates so much for me….especially the part about giving up acting in college. I wanted to be an actor more than anything. When I realized that the only parts I would ever get would be parts for fat people, where the fat symbolizes some truly negative aspect of the character, like greed, laziness, stupidity, or something else that made a negative statement rather than presenting an actual part of the narrative, well, I gave it up. I am a great actor. But when you’re fat, no one cares if you’re great. Mostly, they care if you are willing to make a living as the jolly, self deprecating ugly girl. I have enough of that in my real life.

    Also, here’s a little advice for the concern trolls, and the just plain trolls:

    Shut the hell up. You’re not talking to people who are mentally deficient here. You’re talking to people who are fat. Not stupid. I am absolutely positive that every fat person here, and almost all of them, anywhere, forgot more about dieting, nutrition, and exercise this morning on the toilet than you ever knew in your entire life. Most of us have tried every diet, “life style change”, fad, trend, or just plain starvation plan that there is. Many, MANY of us work out regularly—probably much more often than most of the thin people we know. Shut up with your crap about “giving up soda” and “parking farther away” and “taking the stairs”… if you had one ounce of empathy or even just plain SENSE, you’d know that if it was anywhere NEAR that easy, that we’d all be tottering around like size zero skeletons.

    Oh, and Ellie: you shut up too. Maybe you wrapped yourself in fat because of some kind of pain. Maybe you used or use it to separate yourself from a cruel world. I’m sorry about that, and I hope your pain goes away. But don’t assume that is the case for anyone else. The only pain I usually feel is brought on by concerned, misguided fools like yourself, or by ignorant, snotty, condescending people who think they’re actually telling me shit I don’t already know when they say “Don’t drink coke!!” Actually, your kind of “concern” is worse than the bullish ignorance of the Kevins and Nates of the world….because you don’t just think you’re superior, as they do…..you think you’re superior to fat people AND you hide it behind your false pity. Clearly, no one here wants or needs your pity….you are the pitiful one.

    Your little tirade, Ellie, is pretty much the same speech most gay people hear when they come out to someone who is completely freaked out but tries to pretend they’re not a raving homophobe. “Oh, I just want you to be HAPPY….and you can’t possibly be HAPPY like that, because people will hate you and be mean to you!… I don’t care that you’re gay, I just know you’d be happier if you WEREN’T so….abnormal”.

    Really, if you’re all so pleased with your own bodies and how great they are, why are you trolling around looking for fat people to hurt?? What in your life makes this so satisfying for you? That’s what you need to worry about, not whether I’ve had a regular coke in 25 years.

    • It’s funny that ellie starts with “But sweetie, your health!” and then switches to “You’re disgusting, nobody will love you!” when the agreement doesn’t come.

      Proves that it’s NEVER about fat people’s health, and always about appearance.

      • never called you sweetie.
        of course,it’s ll about the appearance. Which planet are you from?
        if you want to watse your life on talking… sorry, yelling about food – do it. if at least you would have enjoyed it…
        anyway, everyone keeps yelling at me.

    • why are you being so melodramatic? who said anything about salvation or coke? that’s not what i said.
      but that’s what you want to hear. ok then.

      as for me being homophobic – you have no idea how funny this suggestion is. like seriously. oh assumptions, why would people make them eh? ^___^

      • So you don’t like being told that you’re behaving like a bigot, but you’re quite happy to swan in here and say to fat people that you think they’re disgusting and horrible?

        Double standard there much?

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  37. Bless your heart for articulating so wisely, so many of the issues for fat people that are never given a voice.
    big props and deep respect for you…

  38. There’s a lot to digest in this article (pun intended), and while on the whole I think your message is awesome, I have issues with it in places — I think it may even be counterproductive. When I read your next (unrelated) blog post, I it gave me the same feeling… Maybe your writing and I are just out of sync? Let me see if I can put my feelings into words.

    The thing that makes the hairs on the back of my brain stand up (so to speak) are the few factual inconsistencies in the article, so let’s start there. First, wider airline aisles and seats = fewer seats on the plane = fewer passengers per flight = more flights = higher airline costs = higher ticket prices. Also, retrofitting planes for wider seats or making new planes is a huge expense as well. So maybe charging for two seats is an extreme measure, and maybe the best solution is to spend that money after all and develop planes with larger seats. Still, there are reasons why airline companies can’t just have it done yesterday, and even if the airline companies are using the wrong reasons to justify that, it doesn’t change physics or economics.

    Second, about half of the sentence “I’m fat positive because your weight doesn’t have any necessary relationship to your health, your attractiveness, your worth, your agency, your passions or your personality” is incorrect. Weight does have an effect on health — It’s just not the only factor, and being heavy doesn’t automatically mean you’re unhealthy. You already know this though; you go into it in depth in the article, so I won’t get further into it.

    As for attractiveness… I’m sorry, but overweight = unattractive to a lot of people these days. Speaking for myself, it’s difficult for me to get past a woman’s looks when considering them as a partner, even though I know that makes me shallow and therefore feel awful — It still takes a lot of effort for me to get past that. I see two saving graces here: I’ve heard that in the middle ages heavier women were considered attractive because it signified a rich family that could afford a surplus of food, which makes me think the attractiveness question is largely societal and therefore malleable. Also (and more immediately relevant), there are a ton of people in the world, and many of them buck traditional values (like yourself), so everyone should be able to find a few people that really matter to them that are accepting of whomever they are.

    Weight may also have an affect on your personality. If you’ve always been heavy, then you may not notice… Same as if you’ve always been skinny. I’ve noticed that when I lose or gain weight, I feel differently, which changes my personality — I’ve seen that in other people too. Also note that I didn’t say the personality change in either direction is bad, just that it exists. Then again, that may be because I’m getting back into shape, which leads to my next point…

    I think the issue I have with this article is that it focuses on being Fat Positive rather than Health Positive. To me, a person’s weight largely doesn’t matter, though I think a healthy body is a happy body regardless of weight. Disregarding the health care issue for a moment, if a person chooses to be unhealthy, it’s not my place to tell them to be thin regardless of reason. However, that doesn’t change the fact that I think they’d be better off in better shape. Then again, there’s a lot of societal effort already being placed into being health conscious while fat people still get the shaft, so I’m willing to admit we’ve dropped the ball there as a society.

    Taken as a whole, I think your article is largely positive, and from the comments I can see that it’s empowering. Kudos to you then for speaking up and speaking out. Now that I’m at the end of my comment, I realize I wrote it because I’d like to know what you and others think of my thoughts. Maybe I can learn something and refine myself in the process.

  39. It seems that your fat for many reasons and healthy for a only a few. After reading your post, it’s clear to me that your idea of health is either fat or skinny and based on societies negative take on being fat. Health isn’t just hit or miss, it’s not a lottery ticket you hope to win. It’s a lifestyle based on healthy habits and active-living that should be independent of weight and social stigmas. Your health is your business, but I encourage you to write why your healthy. Your positive take on being fat is not what is upseting, it is how you perceive healthy living to be based on diet gimmicks and gym memberships. Health and fitness encompasses a wide range of activites and lifesytle habits that are not based on being fat or skinny but rather on enjoying your bodies health. Healthy living is being able to run with your child without huffing and puffing, it is about reducing the risk of diabetes, cancer, high blood pressure, osteoporosis, and susbceptibililty to many other diseases and conditions. Until you realize that you being fat is not the issue but rather your lack of being health positive, you will always have more “I’m fat positive because” lines to write.

    Why are you health positive?….

    • Why is it any of your business what someone’s health is like?

      Answer: it’s not. Nobody has to “prove” their health to anyone else. Your health is YOUR business, and no-one has the right to judge or question you on it.

      • Sleepydumpling, it would really behoove you to take a debate class because all of the comments you’ve left do nothing but paint yourself as a sententious jerk. How about being “opposing opinions” positive?

      • Hey Stella, I don’t have to “play nice” to people who want to eradicate me and people like me from the earth simply because of our physical appearance. The only jerks I see are the people who think they can police others because of the size and shape of their bodies.

        Oh and those who pretend they’re far more intelligent than anyone who’s opinion they don’t like.

  40. It’s amazing how inflammatory this post is, simpy by putting the words “fat” and “positive” together, it shakes some people to the core.

    It just cannot be conceived that someone can live a happy, full life and be fat. Why is that? Do they feel ripped off, that they buy into the lie of diets and trying desperately to be something they are not, so they hate on people who opt out of that?

    Do they worry they’re not going to get “their fair share” of something? Do they think that by fat people having a little more space in the world, they’ll have a little less?

    I’ve never understood people who can’t live and let live. Nobody is putting a gun to your head and saying “You have to be fat too!” If you want to worry about a body, worry about your own.

    Here’s the thing. It’s not a debate. There’s not an option that you might be able to argue fat people away. Or bully them away. As Marilyn Wann says, “You can’t hate someone for their own good.”

  41. So here’s a non-troll question for you: would you also be pro-ana? Embracing a non-mainstream body type for the purposes of personal empowerment is also the rationale that I’ve seen given by pro-ana supporters, and the two cases seem largely parallel to me. Yet in practice I’ve found that most feminists are enraged by pro-ana but embrace fat-positive. Is there a principled reason for this?

    • I think the big difference is the source of these movements, their motivation. Fat Acceptance is an outcry against thin obsessed culture. Pro-Ana embraces that same culture, so from a socio-political standpoint, they are opposed. There is a commonality in that there is a focus on body and loving your body. I think if you do some more reading you’ll find the answer to this question yourself. Some people might say that being fat is as deadly as being anorexic, so that there is no difference between the two. However, I would suggest that being fat is not deadly, while starving yourself clearly is. Starvation is used to torture and oppress, and I can only think of two examples of the same being used when it comes to fatness (feeder abuse in the Fat Admirer community, and the feeding practices in Africa). It’s good that you’re asking questions. Keep asking them – you’ll uncover a ton of studies done that show that fat people live longer, are more likely to survive stroke, have less osteoporosis. But keep in mind this very important point: the Fat Acceptance Movement does not say that being fat is BETTER. But the pro-ana movement does say that being thin is better. The difference is that the Fat Acceptance movement is really for everyone – just like how feminism is for men too at its core, it just means equality for women. Fat Acceptance is really about body acceptance, it’s just that the word FAT is so politicized, the focus is on removing the stigma from that word, to stop 14 year old girls who are 100 lbs from saying “oh my god my thighs are so fat,” etc. Check out HAES (health at every size) and Kate Harding’s Shapely Prose archive, especially her BMI Project and the post “But isn’t being fat unhealthy.”

    • this is a very very good question!!
      the way i see what feminists are doing is this:
      (wait, need to put my helmet on to protect myself from stones. here. ok.)
      feminists embrace fat because a. many of them are fat b. those who are not fat, can pretend to like fat, look down on fat women and feel good about themselves.
      pro-ana (and no, i do not support it and yes it is very harmful and scary)
      women who practice pro-ana, do look like VOGUE models and can wear the clothes that are out there and “fit”. they are the standard. Hepburn? Kate Moss? for feminists, it is really really hard to look down on those skinny girls. i mean, in the end of the day it IS all about the appearance anf feminists are part of that game. so instead of being mad with whoever is in charge of those craaaaazy standards, feminists try to choke poor skinny girls who can hardly breathe anyway.
      everybody wants to be thin – not crazy skinny but normal. it’s just that some find it hard to admit. as if it is either thin or smart.
      weird eh?

  42. hey, thanks for writing this! i am working on being more comfortable with my body and reading abt being fat-positive really helps me to feel more confident and empowered. not feeling ashamed takes away huge barriers that were keeping me immobilized and unable to satisfyingly work on being healthy. cheers!

  43. My favorite part of your post was the bit about how your mom reacted. My mom has always loved to talk about diet and loving losing weight/looking skinny, etc. None of it compared, though, with an experience I had this year: I have a friend who struggled with anorexia and while she is no longer on the brink of death is still obviously plagued with effects of the disorder. At a social gathering she was told by another girl’s mom, in front of that woman’s slightly overweight daughter, that she was beautiful because of her tall and skinny figure. That is society’s reaction to fat and could not have helped either girl. Be the change.

  44. I totally agree with Kevin. Everyone who blames being overweight uses the argument that they “eat healthy” already. This cannot be true. They are taking in more calories than they burn.

    Everyone say it with me – if I control what I eat, I control how my body looks. Most people just point to 2-4 weeks of cutting out fatty foods. It’s REALLY hard, but the fact of the matter is, if you write down what you eat, record calories burned vs calories consumed and keep the balance on the “burned” side, you will HAVE to lose weight.

    I sympathize with those that have a disadvantage in the way their body metabolizes food. It has to be one of the most difficult things to overcome. But everyone should take accountability for themselves. Blame yourself, look in the mirror and say, “this is a problem” and then figure out how to fix it. Blaming hormones or society or something else is the easy way to give up. Don’t allow yourself to be weak – change your life or you’ll end up staying fat.

    • “I totally agree with Kevin”
      Is this actually evidence that you were trying to use a sock-puppet account on a debate this benign?

      Kevin- maybe if you control what you eat, you control how your body looks. Maybe it doesn’t work that way for everyone. I think that that there are probably a LOT of people out there who are overweight, and COULD change it through diet and exercise- but you know what? That’s their business. This shouldn’t even be an argument over whether every fat person COULD have zero body fat- but a question over what right we have to demand that they do.

      Until complaints over fat people imposing some financial burden on skinny people are extended to cover people who take exercise in moderately accident-prone ways (or just ride motorcycles)- the argument is just a cover for bigotry. I don’t think anyone wants to live in a society so intrusive that there is no room left for accepting personal risk. At least- nobody seems to like the term “nanny-state” which is what people are proposing when they want to require people to be thin.

      “The thing is, when two thirds of Americans are obese, when half are dangerously obese that tells you that this isn’t a will-power problem. We didn’t get less willful in the last fifty years. Might as well say that all those people who died of the plague lacked the will-power to keep their houses free of rats. Fat isn’t moral, it’s epidemiological. There are a small number of people, a tiny minority, whose genes are short-circuited in a way that makes them less prone to retaining nutrients. That’s a maladaptive trait through most of human history—burning unnecessary calories when you’ve got to chase down an antelope to get more, that’s no way to live long enough to pass on your genes! So all those high-metabolism no-maintenance skinny people, able to pack away transfats and high-fructose corn-syrup and a pound of candy for breakfast at the IHOP, they’re not doing this on will-power—they’re doing it by expressing the somatotype of a recessive, counter-survival gene.”
      -Cory Doctorow, Makers

  45. I am glad that the author feels comfortable with her fat. If you need two chairs on a flight then, seriously, lose some fucking weight. Blaming the airlines for not making seats large enough? Really? Sure, be comfortable with your enormity, but get real. Your health is seriously at risk. You will most likely die early from health complications because you want to blame other factors for your fatness. I have been fat. I understand how differently people treated me when I am thin vs fat. It does suck. But, raging against it does not help. Being all bitter towards the way people treat you for being fat just makes you an angry and unhappy person. Obviously, you have given up on ever looking and feeling healthy and blamed it on some mystical cause “I have tried everything.” Whatever, it is obvious B.S. It is impossible to keep gaining weight if you are watching your diet and exercising regularly. Why don’t you just come out and confess that you are LAZY positive. I feel bad for those who love you and who will lose you early due to heart failure or other obesity related health problems. I am sure your fat positivity does not comfort them.

    • Sarah … did you not notice the other posters who cited scientific studies (and there have been a lot of them) that have concluded that some people are just … fat?

      I know it’s really mind-blowing, but some people *can’t* lose weight, no matter how hard they try.

      Hey! eats properly and enjoys vigorous physical activity.

      And I do think airline seats have gotten smaller – I am a naturally small person, and I find them cramped.

      All the haters in the comments have deeply absorbed our culture’s prejudices, to the point where they seem to feel very threatened when their world-views are challenged.

      There is a problem with obesity in our culture, and a lot of people could be a lot healthier if they changed their habits. This does not change the fact that there have always been heavy people, and the fact that it is possible to be large and healthy. (Sorry … I mean “fat and healthy” – I have trouble using that word because it’s got such negative connotations!)

  46. In response to Kevin- I have some insight that many don’t. I lived for 34 years as a female, and then at 34 transitioned to male. I started testosterone. The pounds started dropping off, even though I ate twice as much. My body started not storing weight for potential pregnancy, but using it as fuel to build muscle. I got so many comments from gym bunny men “wow you look great, you’re working out” when in fact, I was not working out (before I was working out all the time, and had hypothyroidism and didn’t know it, and was eating vegan food and my gf was becoming skinny why I was ballooning up)…

    I can tell you from experience…it is MUCH easier to lose weight as a male, with testosterone, than it is as a female. The testosterone does not make your body store food as possible fuel for two, it’s just a fact. So…your statement is ignorant…Not that I expect differently because it’s along the lines of what the rest of the world thinks…but I hope that someday, those of us who have insight (same body, same eating habits, same mentality and “willpower”, but different hormones having an entirely different effect on weight gain and loss) will be able to educate the world…to show you the simplicity is not about “just consume less calories than you burn” but also “men have it easier”

  47. C’mon…. fat positive? You can say that humanity is hiding behind the guise of health… but it isn’t a guise, it’s reality. Most of us find it heinously unattractive. I like thick girls, not the TV/media trained stick figures, but a girl with some substance… fat is a different world. The most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen is 5’9 and wears a size 14, (no buffalo bill jokes) so there’s some size. And yes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but when you write a blog excusing apathy and over eating it doesn’t ring of truth, it rings of patheticism. If there’s an untreatable medical condition it’s understandable, but outside of that it rings of a lack of self-control.

    When I was a young fella I was skinny as could be. By the end of high school, I was an emaciated 5’11 130 lbs. I force fed myself and worked out to gain weight, as I got older, my metabolism crashed and my +5000 calorie intake became an issue. I shot up to 105 lbs heavier than my HS weight. Something had to be done. I lowered my caloric intake, ate properly, excersized and didn’t quit. As it stands, I’m probably about 10 lbs over my ideal weight… I hate it. In the winters I run a little heavy so by spring, I’ll be looking good. This takes discipline and work. Making excuses for one’s weight is just weak. Creating a forum to allow others to do that is likewise bad form. Put down the fried foods, soda, and don’t eat until you are full, just take the edge off. Eat often throughout the day with small quantities. No white breads. It’s not hard, it just takes dedication. When you carry less weight, your body will be healthier, you’ll gain years on your life, you’ll be in less pain, find more acceptance and have more energy…. yeah, maybe it’s just me but that lifestyle sounds better than being fat positive – it’s being life positive

  48. I like the attitude of this very much. I too am fat. I have been for my WHOLE life. My father blames himself for making me clean my plate when I was younger. I do NOT blame him. (Wish he would understand that, as he is fat too, and diabetic, and I love him for him…) I have upped my exercise by walking 2 miles a day, and at the same time dropped caloric intake down to 1200 a day. After 2 months you would think there would be SOME kind of change, there is NONE. My clothes fit the same. I look the same. I feel the same. Keep in mind that I also chase after 2 children, clean the house, live on the 2nd and 3rd floor (stairs EVERY day SEVERAL times a day) and eat decently. Do I eat fast food? Sure, about once a month. Less then most Americans do. Do I drink soda? Not even every time I have that fast food. I actually prefer homemade unsweetened iced tea (hot too for that matter). Do I go to the gym? No, my 2 children take up way more time and money and are more important to me. I have heard “you can take them with you and use the sitting service” Sure, and we are a 1 car family, and I could walk (with BOTH children) more then 10 miles to the closest gym too. I must be slovenly and lazy to be so fat. I must not WANT to be thin, or must not want it ENOUGH. Sure, I would like to be LESS fat. But I am me. I try to be healthy (hmm.. go figure, my blood pressure is NORMAL, my cholesterol is average, my sugar levels are where they belong, and my bone density is high). So after that, I must be unhealthy because I am fat, and only because OF the fat. I do hope that the people who cant understand what it is to be me (and others like me) learn that it is not always a “lifestyle choice”, but how we are.

    • I’m not even sure to what post this is replying to anymore, I have no experience with this site whatsoever. After reading the whole post twice and all the comments at least once I find myself drawn to the conclusion that the real heart of this post has little (some, but little) to do with the real physicality of being fat. That seems to be the reality most commenters are dealing with and the resulting conflict seems to be that skinny people think that exercise and diet will pay off and overweight people say that that is ignorant. Whatever the case may be I feel like the argument circumvents the point: fat positive has more to do with the social image and implications of weight than anything else. Does weight affect your health? Yes. Is it the only thing? No. Does this impact your self image? Maybe, but if you are happy with yourself you live a happier life. I have personally never had an issue with fat. Not in myself or in others. I am young, male, 6″1 and 180 lbs. I am an ex-competitive athlete who competed internationally. I have never been fat. My girlfriend has been larger her whole life however and she is unhappy with herself, and it crushes me to see it. I am fat positive because I believe that a persons weight has no effect on who they are and they should not be made to feel like less based on the number on the scale. I have to be positive for her because she won’t be positive for herself and that simple fact means that fat positivity is necessary in society because no one should be that negative about themselves. Fat positivity doesn’t mean letting go of your body entirely, everyone needs to be somewhat health concious but that is regardless of size. Different weights come with different problems, but low self esteem and self-hate/disgust should never be on that list. Fat positive or negative is a social problem not a health problem. I would be interested to see someone disagree with that and why.

  49. Pingback: Being Fat Does Not Make You a Rebel | Savage Gorillas

    • Dang it. The picture didn’t show up.

      It’s the add that showed up at the end of the article. Lameness.

      Btw, I ❤ this article. Beautiful.

  50. Oh how I love this piece, just saw it via a friend posting it on Facebook. I wish that more of us could accept our bodies rather than feeling ashamed. As someone who was a lifetime member of Weight Watchers but felt crazy constantly watching points and fearing the scale, I recently said eff it all. I accept my body and will live my life just the way my body is.

  51. A self-declared “fat activist” sent me a link to this post, which I found to have an inspirational and activist rhetoric that sidestepped some of the questions I have about fat positivity. This post announces to the world that being fat results in certain disadvantages imposed by skinny culture. These disadvantages and stigmas are real and at play.

    I accept that genetics certainly plays a significant role in people’s body type, as does their socio-economic status. I’ve a few thoughts on this matter, but I’ll try to be brief.

    Some questions I have is how can we begin to be “fat positive” while still encouraging people to lead healthier lives. I am thinking here particularly about the child obesity epidemic in the USA and, to a lesser extent, Canada.

    I assert that not all the kids who are growing up fat are fat due to genetic or economic reasons. Heck, not all fat people are fat because of the two aforementioned factors! Some kids are getting fat because sugary and processed foods have become a default for parents and other instituions.

    So, how can we be fat positive while implementing education, nutrition, and athletics programs to help people live at their optimal weight (which will range widely and include the fat)? I am having trouble resolving this tension.

    Also, speaking as a Canadian, the health of those around me matters because we have universal health care. While people are not punished for their lifestyle choices (such as smoking or excessive drinking) when it comes to access to health care, on a social level, a more healthy population means that our health care system will not be overstressed. So, in Canada, health is part of the business of government.

    In the USA, if your fat, your medical insurance company likely cares about this info., which is frightening.

    • Hey Leif, I’m Canadian too. Your questions have been answered by other bloggers, and I’d like to send you to another blog post that I often send people to with similar questions: http://kateharding.net/faq/but-dont-you-realize-fat-is-unhealthy/

      You said: “Some kids are getting fat because sugary and processed foods have become a default for parents and other institutions.” Consider this: there are thin kids who are also eating that terrible food, and their issues of health do not get addressed because they aren’t fat. Blanketing child health issues under the umbrella of obesity does a disservice to fat kids and thin kids alike. We have to divorce the concepts of fat and health. If we simply focus on health and good nutrition, it all gets addressed, and people who are fat won’t have to get shamed.

      Also, if we start making people accountable for their health to justify health care spending, we will have a big problem, not just with fat people, but with sedentary people, drinkers, smokers, and anyone who lives in Sarnia (he he, that’s a joke for any Ontarians out there).

      • Thank you for the link Vanessa. I commented more for the friend who sent me to this site, so she could gauge my response. I read some of the ~150 comments, but not all.

        How we go about measuring health is important on a larger social level, although what constitutes healthy is by no means clear (eg. I know many high performance athletes who push their bodies beyond being healthy in order to be faster).

        Yes, people can eat the same junk (not to mention ridiculous portion sizes) and wind up with all different body types, but this junk, combined with increasingly sedentary lifestyles, does play a role in the statistical rise in obesity.

        Compared to adults, children have less agency in deciding their diet and making active lifestyle choices. Generally, they do whatever the family and schools program. But, if you are too fat or too skinny when you’re younger and into your teens, you are more likely to maintain that body type into adulthood. It is harder to change once you’re an adult (hence the trouble with diets).

        My MAIN tension is this: I don’t want children to be unnecessarily fat, but this desire is outside of fat activism’s message. I get that activism needs to have a certain rhetorical flourish and focus, but in both these articles I get the sense that some of the underlying factors that lead to fatness aren’t being addressed by fat activism. The message I get, bluntly stated, is that the obesity epidemic (yes, yes, I know that this phrase itself has a clear anti-fat valence) is something to accept.

        So, I’d like to change the stats while accepting people and this is causes some tension. I’m thinking about what ethical policy decisions, at the institutional level, might look like here.

  52. I wish I will learn to think like this. And I wish I won’t be ashamed someday because of how I look. Thank you for writing this.

  53. Pingback: fa(t)shion february | À l'allure garçonnière

  54. I know I’m very late for posting a comment here, but I’ve only just discovered this.

    I’m fat, and healthy, and I’ve been like that for a lot of my life. I used to play soccer, so I was a bit smaller in high school (not much), but I had to stop due to some ankle injuries which kept me pretty inactive for a number of years. In the past few months, I’ve lost 50 lbs.

    I mention this because I suddenly notice that I have to explain my whole “weight battle” to anyone who has noticed that I’m smaller. The truth is, I don’t really know how I’ve lost the weight. I thought I looked fine before, honestly. I think I’m pretty, and I’ve never had trouble finding boyfriends, or other people who also think I’m awesome. And I’m still fat, even 50 lbs thinner.

    The problem that I have is that people just assume things about you when you’re fat. When you lose weight, they assume even more about you, like that it must have been so hard, or that there was something terribly wrong with you before that’s now been (or is currently being) fixed. They all want to know the secret. They all think I look amazing compared to how I used to look.

    This disturbs me so much because I liked myself before. I didn’t care about it. Now it comes up all the time, and I don’t think it should matter. I think that being fat is far more healthy for society than feeding into this stereotyping of people who aren’t fitness gods, and needlessly promoting what could be very unhealthy weight loss (because they don’t know how I’ve done this amazing thing, and they just assumed that I’ve come to my senses and gotten weight-conscious suddenly).

    I guess I’m just happy that this sort of conversation is even happening. I’m happy that someone is bringing it forward.

    • Meg,

      I couldn’t agree with you more. Losing weight is really tricky to manage when you don’t think being fat is necessarily unhealthy/negative, and your comment is super timely! We’re putting the finishing touches on a post about losing weight & staying fat positive. It should be up tomorrow. I’ll be interested to hear your thoughts on it!

      Thank you so much for your comment. ❤


  55. Pingback: Exercise for the fat-accepting « Beef Without Cake

  56. A couple of years ago I decided to gain weight and become fat. I have always been skinny. I found out as you become older there are some serious health benefits to being fat, not obese, and that it is a good idea to be “Fit and Fat”. I found out that if I was to gain weight it is best to go slow and take about 6 months to a year so once I became fat I would stay fat and not lose the weight. I decided to go from 180 to 225 as I started gaining weight to my pleasant surprise the fat or weight all went right into my belly, I found that I actually really loved being fat, I was amazed. The only problem I experienced as my stomach became fat the weight pulled on my lower back and I started getting lower back pains, plus it effected my posture. I was at a cross roads it is either lose the fat or come up with another solution. I decided I really liked being fat and I wanted to stay with a fat stomach so I found a corsetier who helped solved my problem. She fitted me in a long legged high waisted boned and zippered panty girdle. She had to consult with me and help me become use to wearing a girdle. I found to my surprise that once I became use to the support my stomach and back received from being in a girdle I really loved how I looked and felt. The girdle did support my rather fat stomach and held me in I now have great posture it is easier to sit stand and get around with no more lower back pain, and the great part I can stay fit and fat and love it.

  57. you have some strange assumptions about what other people think… “I do A because people think B”. Fat and a mind reader.

  58. Will re post to my blog! People really don’t understand these things, and when folks read them, they just skip over the logic of them. Fat-positive creates fear in others because you challenge what is seen as “normal.”

  59. “I’m fat positive because sometimes I think we ought to start a riot.”

    Knowing that there are people out there like you makes me smile and encourages me to do whatever I need to do to get there. I have to get healthy (minus the eating disorder) and then I’m gonna start an F-ing riot!

    • So I am curious. I think that people who are considered ‘overweight’ by our thin-obsessed culture are treated very heinously, and I completely agree that the standards in our society are unfair. I am a pretty slim girl, I guess, 140 pounds and 5 foot 8, and this year even I have experienced a lot of pressure as I attend a very wealthy college with a lot of rich gym bunnies/girls with eating disorders. Ugh. Anyway.
      I think that a message to people to understand that bodies are different and NOT what they look like in magazines is fantastic. People who believe they are living a healthy lifestyle should love their bodies even if they don’t look like a model in Vogue. No one looks like a model in Vogue, and the media is really setting a terrible role model here. I salute you for encouraging people to accept themselves.
      However, I am interested in the differences between … I guess fat and really fat. The kind of person who is way bigger than the anorexic models in Vogue, and people who are really, really large. You have indicated that you work out a lot and get exercise and eat normally – which is awesome! And you talk about how there are a lot of people who are genetically predisposed to gain weight.
      All of these things are true, and for these people, you are probably in an okay weight range, even if our skinny anorexic model obsessed society thinks you are fat.
      However, what do you say to all the women (or anyone) who are really obese because they are not eating healthy foods or getting any exercise? Or they are obese to the point where it is really impacting their health?

      Basically, I don’t think anyone should hate their body, and people, especially women’s movements, should focus on helping to change the body image in America, because it is really terrible. If beauty is stick thin, then no one is beautiful, and we all know that is untrue. However, there is definitely an obesity epidemic going on in America and it is really affecting people’s health. I certainly don’t want anyone who is really overweight to hate their own bodies or themselves because of it, but if their weight is really affecting their health, then they should be aware that is something that they should work to change.
      Where do you draw the line between a large woman who is healthy, and a large woman who is not?


  60. This really is a great article… but I have a few issues with it. There is a difference between fat and healthy, as has been stated many times here, but being fat does put you at a higher risk of health issues. To treat obesity in such a nonchalant manner feels a bit irresponsible to me. Being fat means a lot more responsibility. You have to be way more careful about what you eat because of the stress put on your heart as a result of having to maintain the larger sized body and because of the higher potential for high blood pressure and diabetes. It is also more important to ensure the appropriate measure of vitamins is being taken in because of bone issues and skin complications. You can be over weight and still be healthy, but it takes more work. You are right in that it is none of my business and your health is your business. I’m not going to assume you are unhealthy because you are fat and even if you are it makes no difference to me, though to say (not sure if anyone actually did but i think the implication was put out there) that a loved one shouldn’t be concerned about your health in a situation where you are actually unhealthy (big or not) seems a bit selfish. I only have an issue when you make a post like this and you don’t at least mention that health, while separate, should be a PERSONAL concern for everyone (again, big or small).

    Along with the with the additional responsibilities with being large are the financial responsibilities. I have to say that I tend to agree with some of the a holes above on this issue. Airplanes charge for an extra seat for anyone who cannot physically fit into the width of a seat (be it broad shoulders, bow legs or obesity). I am a tall man, i don’t knee the people in front of me or sit with my legs spread, i cross my legs and slip them under the seat in front of me. If you have an issue with that try saying something to them instead of rolling your eyes and bitching to your cats when you get home to your apartment (not a fat comment, just directed to the bitter lady who, while complaining about people who judge people based on their appearance, stereotyped all tall people and all men as inconsiderate), and if that doesn’t work stab them with your pen. It just doesn’t seam fair to me that someone pays the same amount as you but then have to share that seat with you. Honestly, if it is reasonably close than they aren’t just going to charge you, someone would have to complain. So if you talked to a few of the people around you when you got on you could probably work it out before it got to that point. You are right, it’s embarrassing, it sucks, but it is one of the many responsibilities that come along with being fat. Do you think it is unfair to charge a little extra for + sized clothing? How is it fair for someone to pay the same price for half the fabric? Just a thought, I might be a jerk for it, I’m sorry, that’s just how I feel.

    That being said, fat can be beautiful. I didn’t say fat is beautiful because that isn’t always true. Often times, when someone is obese because they are lazy you can tell. Fat sits differently when fat cells continually build and burn (as in someone who simply takes in too much fat, calories etc…). If you have some sort of illness or disorder causing obesity that tends to sit as long term stored fat. If you just take in way too much your body goes through a constant exchange and forms as frumpy looking fat pockets. I’m not saying that both body types can’t be beautiful but, let’s be honest, if you are so lazy that you have allowed yourself to become obese against personal preference there are probably other thing that you neglect that are more unattractive than the weight. If you take care of yourself (whatever that means to YOU) and you put force a bit of confidence that goes way further than any diet. You don’t need to spend hours in front of the mirror or 300 dollars on a hair cut, but if you want to be considered beautiful (if YOU want) then what you need is confidence and a little bit of practicality (no one likes a dirty girl, please don’t go a week without a shower and tell people they are rude for saying that’s gross).

    I am a well educated 25 year old man. I am very athletic and toned. I don’t mean to sound like a pompous a hole but I am stereotypically attractive, but that’s all a matter of opinion. I strive for the body type and appearance I have because it is what I like, a lot of people find me attractive, a lot more people don’t, i’m all right with that. What is more important is that you are comfortable with how you look. If you don’t like you, no one else will either. So many people on this post have said beautiful, wonderful, eloquent things. You all have so much to offer. So put your sense of self worth where your mouth is. If you show the rest of the world how terrific you are no one will notice a little extra around your belly and thighs. I have dated girls of all shapes and sizes and have considered all of them beautiful, and told them every chance I got. My largest girlfriend was 250 pounds. But that’s because size is not necessarily unattractive to me. If someone doesn’t find fat to be attractive you can’t criticize them for that, and that doesn’t necessarily mean that they consider you less of a person. I personally am not attracted to black skin. You might think that’s racist, but I’m really not. It’s just a personal preference, but I’m not going to think any less of black people and I’m not going to say I won’t date a girl because she’s black, I dated a black girl for a couple months who I found to be absolutely beautiful. You can’t say that people cant say they aren’t attracted to fat people any more than the poster can say she isn’t attracted penis.

    One last thing. SleepyDumpling, you kind of took over this string huh? If you claim that you don’t care what people think about you then why do you prowl this thread and post more than any two people combined? Seriously, i get you’re angry for making you feel bad so many times, but if you really want to grow and be comfortable with your self you going to have to say f them and let them think what they want because yelling at them isn’t going to change their minds.

    If the things i said are rude or offend someone I apologize. In reality I’m an kinda of a big dumb idiot so if I said something bad just ignore me. I meant what I said when I said so many of you are clearly gorgeous people and many of you are probably physically, undeniably, beautiful.

  61. Thank you for writing this. People don’t realize how they treat fat people differently then a “regular” sized person. I’ve been fat my whole life and no amount of exercise and diet could change that. But thanks to you, I’ll be more ‘fat positive’

    • You are too fucking stupid to even insult, if you really wanted to lose weight you would educate your self, but no your just going to sit at home, being a fat piece of shit, and doing nothing about your life, you can’t blame ANYONE but YOURSELF, you disgust me

  62. Fatties, listen to the news: your disorders can’t break the laws of thermodynamics. If your body needs an X amount of calories to sustain itself, and you eat Y, which is more than X, and exercise, it is impossible for you to get fat.

  63. With time, women gain weight because we accumulate so much information & wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room, it distributes out to the rest of our bodies. So we aren’t heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated & happy. Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think, good grief look how smart I am, I must be a genius!” ~ Ladies, if you agree, repost

  64. wow.. one of the most ignorant articles I have EVER read.. You ACTUALLY think your body breaks the fundamental laws of thermodynamics, eh?
    damn.. the ignorance found on the internet can be astonishing..

  65. Well you could start by shutting your ****ing mouth and going to the gym and stop being such a little phaggot and doing some ****ing squats and some deadlifts, understand? First you squat and then you deadlift, that’s the basics of lifting. You gotta squat and then you deadlift, that’s the only way to get jacked and you GOTTA DRINK AT LEAST A GALLON OF MILK A DAY, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?

  66. “I can’t help that im fat, it just happened on its own”

    you’re a fucking retard. You didnt just wake up fat. you’re a waste of life and an eyesore to the world

  67. hahahahahaahhahahahahah fatties, you people live less years than NORMAL people, so please keep on eating, and keep on being disgusting scum of society

  68. I just heard of this and definitely came in for a laugh.. Got what i expected lmao.

    It’s funny how you talk. My friend, i was once an obese guy, but through proper diet and cardio my BMI is now 22.

    Stop being a fatass and do something about it. B!tching won’t make you slimmer. I wish it did but it doesn’t. You’re fat because you don’t workout and currectly eating a big mac while reading my comment not because of genetics.

    Saying that working out and proper diet doesn’t work pretty much sums up your ignorance really. Maybe if you put some fuking effort you might actually loose some weight!

  69. Terrible article. Being fat isn’t normal. For thousands of years it was extremely rare for humans to be obese by modern standards. We are simply not evolved to be obese no matter how healthy you have convinced yourself it can be. And just because you can function does not mean you are healthy. Most drug users can function normally, as can people with serious mental illnesses.

    What also irks me is this fat agenda of demonising people who eat sensibly and take pride in their bodies, as if these people have eating disorders or self-image disorders. It’s unfortunate that eating irresponsibly has become so commonplace that people who break the pattern are viewed as being odd. In this case, average != normal.

    Your lifestyle also isn’t a bubble; you affect people around you. From driving up insurance costs in the USA, driving up healthcare costs in Europe/Canada, and placing all sorts of strains on public transport, your lifestyle is one of greed. “I’ll do whatever I want, and other people can pay for it”. An obese person can take a plane trip and bring more weight than a normal person + suitcase, paying the same amount of money. Not only that but you have the gall to insist that you be allowed extra room on the plane for no extra charge, in other words forcing private companies to pay to accomodate your lifestyle.

    Sort out your priorities, fat people are an embarrassing blight on the western world.

    • Spot on my friend. Spot on. It’s incredible how these people think their bodies somehow defy the laws of thermodynamics and get bigger by themselves.

      Unless you have a serious (and rare) metabolism disorder, you’re fat because you’re lazy and/or ignorant about the proper way to eat and exercise.

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  71. i’d love to see all you fat сuитs riot because the rest of normal america won’t widen the seats everywhere. bring on the riot, biтснеs. you won’t make it a block when the battery runs out on your hoveround. when you fall down on your fat knees we’ll be standing above you pointing and laughing.

    let less, exercise more. simple.
    but no. you’re weak, pathetic, and addicted to junk.

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  73. To the people saying metabolic disorders affecting weight are extremely rare:

    You’re wrong. Thyroid disorders are not rare at all. I know many people who have them. When I had hyperthyroidism, I ate at least 3000 calories daily, and I ended up losing ten pounds. When I started on medication to slow my thyroid hormone production, my appetite disappeared, and I ate next to nothing . I gained fifteen pounds immediately.

    Sorry, but the whole less calories+more exercise=weight loss is NOT as clear-cut and easy as you think. Thyroids are fickle things, and people are born with different metabolisms. It’s a fact.

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    • Hi, Patrice.

      Did you read the article? Do you remember that she leads an active lifestyle, including hiking, swimming and yoga?

      You can say “just do some physical exercise” as often as you like. But reality is never that simple.

  75. Thank you for writing this very thoughtful and thought-provoking entry. By “normal” standards I am overweight, though not “obese” (UK size 16-18 depending on which store), and I’ve been struggling with dieting for years. I’m just now coming to realise the truth (i.e. that as long as I eat healthily and keep active I don’t need to worry about sizes).

    Incidentally, I find it interesting that the majority of the commenters who indulge in ad hominems and claim that it is as simple as “just eat less” are male. Way to enforce the norms of ignorant, sizeist patriarchal society, guys.

    • It’s great you guys are happy with your wait and such but my Mum went from a size 18 to a size 10 in less than 8 months due to hard work and determination. And yes she had to eat less but what she was eating was the ideal of what you should eat a day. It is simple if you put your mind to it. I’m not saying you have to loose weight but you can’t tell me it’s impossible.

  76. Pingback: On Fat Positivity « mynameisdagger

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  78. Many of the comments have just reinforced social stigma against fat and reinforced all the authors reasons for being fat positive (and, I think, why we all should be!). The are ridden with fat-shaming and sexism ont op of thta. I’m disappointed. Being fat positive is not anti-healthy. That’s a common misconception people glean from being fed biased information about what is healthy. You can be fat and healthy.
    In this particular case, it’s clear that the author tries to stay healthy through exercise and a nutritious diet, and because of that probably is quite heatlhy. She deserves to be validated like any trying person. Skinny people can get all the same diseases and illnesses fat people get. Being underweight is actually more dangerous to your health than being overweight, but we don’t see thin-shaming. Models, generally underweight, die from anorexia yet we continue to applaud them on their beauty and style while we tell overweight people they need to go to the gym for their health (and scorn them at the gym anyways). It’s obviously not health that is the real concern. There’s an irrational stigma against being fat, especially for women, because we only value women if they conform to unrealistic beauty standards.
    So many reoplies to this blog have been obviously ignorant. A couple people have done their research- there are many disorders that make it near impossible for people to lose weight; fat people did exist in the past; there’s little to no signifcant scientific studies supporting the notion that decreased caloric intake and increased exercise leads to weight loss. In fact, most people who diet will gain back twice any weight they lose due to homeostasis. We should not value people based on their body type. Health should actually be the priority, not socialized attractiveness.

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  80. I have no objection to the ideas here, and no objection to you been fat positive. I just wondered if you are also skinny positive? It works the exact same way really, with people being told nowadays that ‘real women have curves’ and by being naturally skinny/athletic etc, you are therefore not a real woman. I firmly believe that beauty is subjective, and whatever size you are, self-confidence is the most important thing. Therefore, being skinny and proud is just the same as being fat and proud?

  81. I usually don’t reply to the whole fat positive argument, however it sounds more like you are trying to justify being fat. I really don’t have a problem with you or your fatness, but stop telling me it’s normal to be fat. I ran a half marathon at 205 lbs, now I am 172 lbs, so there is merit in your theory. But there is overweight and fat. The people I know that are fat simply cannot control their appetite.

    “I’m fat positive because I’ve been fat my whole life. No matter how much I work out or how little I eat, my clothing has never dropped below a size 20 (I know!). I could spend my life in a gym, chasing some mirage that my body will never be, or I could focus on eating and moving in a way that makes me healthy and happy. Or, even more radically, I could not think about dieting, and know that my health is my own damn business. Either way, on the weight continuum, I’ll be somewhere between “superfat” and “ginormous.”

    This just seems very hard to believe. Anyone that is working out for 1 hour a day and eating 2000 calories today should be losing weight. It’s just simple math. I think that you are eating far more than you should. Don’t be upset, food is an addiction and it’s very difficult to fight off eating poorly. By the tone of your post, I am guessing that you really aren’t interested in losing any weight, you just don’t want to be judged. I will accept you the way you are.

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  83. Well a very interesting blog and the responses are very emotional and thought provoking. I’ ve been fat and I’ve been thin. But the key here is that those were my choices. I believe that fat positive is really about choice positive. You can choose to believe what you want because it is YOUR choice. More power to you and be happy with your choices… I know I am!

  84. Good for you Maggie! Excellent post. I just love every single thing you wrote. I GET you. I really do. I’m also fat. And I’m also tired of being judged simply on what I look like. I’ve not been fat my whole life, but most of my adult life. It sucks! But add to it chronic illness and it’s a whole lot worse.

    Pity party? nuh uh. Just the facts. I don’t like it but hey it is what it is. Chronic pain and fatigue prevent changing it any time soon.

    So you go girl! let em hear ya roar!

  85. My father is in the same place you are, except he’s on disability. He has tried everything and hasn’t been able to lose the weight for at least 40 years. He’s even had to get on prescribed SPEED to get his weight down to get into the army in the Vietnam days, when the military was trying to enlist a lot of people. I am TIRED of people telling me that my father is lazy and just wants to government’s money. (Crazy? Yes. Lazy? No.)

    Also, I hate hearing crap from people about what I eat. I know what I can eat to not be fat. I’m not fat. My BMI is 21. Dammit, people need to stop being so… nosy.

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  87. hey. all of you complete idiots who think that being online behind some username is a tough way to state your opinion about something, it isn’t, you still look stupid. not only do you look stupid, but your “fix all solution” is “dead lifts” and “getting up and doing something”? really? good response, and shoot do you seem like a real bad ass behind that computer monitor. no one respects you, but boy oh boy did you get a couple “likes” on that one. way to entertain the masses of ignorant people like yourself out there. she isn’t asking you to come tell her what to do, or what to eat, how to “lift and squat”, etc. she’s saying she’s happy in HER OWN life, but keep killing moments for anyone that seems remotely excited about life. we should take away overweight peoples christmases, ability to smile, and laughing is probably a bad idea too. You know what, we should stick all fat people in a room, and just make them “dead lift” and “get up and do something” all day, and as long as they don’t try to make opinions about anything they can continue to live and be gawked at by all assholes of the world. 🙂 you guys keep making stupid ass comments, the rest of us with a brain will laugh and wonder why it is that someone hasn’t hit you with a bus yet.

    • You say that people are hiding behind a screen but this was posted on the internet! I’m sure that the original poster wouldn’t want to give us all her address or phone number so we can tell her personally so we’re doing it on here.
      Also, if she didn’t want other people’s opinions she shouldn’t of posted it online where other people could comment and have their own opinion.
      I respect her for having her opinion of herself and I respect others for their opinions. You on the other hand don’t seem have respect for other people as you should and therefore I pity you. If you don’t have respect for others who do you think is going to respect you with your pathetic post?
      You’re not tough or hard.

      • Good call on being posted on the internet, you caught me. I’m in no way hiding though. Im defending someone who doesn’t necessarily need it, as she seems brave enough on her own, but letting her know that not all humans are heartless, cold beings with nothing but hate consuming their bodies. I’m informing her that some people read this and were overjoyed that someone could finally be happy with themselves to just be alive, and living a wonderful life. It may not be YOUR life, or a life you deem perfect, or right, or what have you, but its hers to be happy with.

        The fact that people can wish bad things, or say hurtful things to someone who is just merely making a post on being HAPPY is disgusting. Have your own opinions, hate whomever and whatever you want, but take it to your own personal hateful blog, where you wish nothing but blues and sadness on others. Dont bring negativity to someone whos already dealt with it and is moving forward.

        Dont pity me, because i have plenty of respect for those who deserve respect. However if you find the need to “pity” anyone, try it on those who seem to make this world a harder colder place, use your pity on those who want to rain on someones parade, if you will. My post was not meant for you, nor was i attempting to be “tough or hard”, but thank you for trying to start an argument with a stranger via internet blog. very tough and hard, on your behalf. Thanks.

  88. There is nothing wrong with being fat, as long as it is your own issue. However, once your obesity results in MY higher charges for the airfare, in MY higher healthcare insurance/tax and in MY discomfort sitting next to an enormous person on public transport, I do not feel so happy about it any more.

    Exercising and eating healthy does not take much time or effort, but it boosts your career perspectives, your chances to get a great partner (or make the current one happier), it helps you with virtually EVERYTHING you do on the daily basis – you move faster, you feel energetic, you look flattering in just about any clothes.

    You can choose to stay in denial and keep living fat and happy. It is possible that for you personally it is relatively more difficult to lose weight, but, as it was mentioned here already, do not tell me you eat 2000 kcal of healthy food a day, push yourself really hard exercising a few times a week and still stay massively overweight: it is impossible.

    Just to give you an illustrative example, there are people who naturally sweat and smell more, or who genetically have bad teeth. Instead of washing more often or paying higher dentist bills they can just proclaim that they are happy the way they are. Sort of, I am smelly, but what’s the hell! Why can’t those air companies install special screens on their planes to protect others from my odour?

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  92. what works the best for me is neither diets nor extreme workouts, i just found out some small habits that helped a lot, the secret is to burn more that what you eat simple as that, i read an ebook that i got from some website for 30 bucks, it contains a bunch of small stuff to do daily which reduces body fat beautifully, i’m like reaaaly happy especially that i’m still eating the same old sh*t and losing weight at the same time, i feel like a heavy butterfly haha
    i’ll send you the book if i find the website again 😉

  93. Pingback: Why I am fat positive | big14blog

  94. “I’m fat positive because your weight doesn’t have any necessary relationship to your health”

    I’m sorry, I’m glad you’re comfortable with your weight and such but your weight does have a correlation with health problems.

    “You shouldn’t have to turn on the TV to see therapists making anorexic women cry, or see trainers shout at and shame fat people. I’m fat positive because I don’t think that anyone else should decide what’s okay for you to wear or eat or do or look like”

    This extract also implies it’s okay to be anorexic. Maybe it wasn’t it’s intention but we get told what’s an ideal weight to stay healthy. Not every one on tv advertises size 2 models, you’re just picking out the worst parts of tv and not showing a fair argument. You say that your friend died due to complications with a gastric band but being over weight can also cause heart disease, strokes and liver disease.

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  96. Jesus Christ!!!!! Would everybody just shut the f&@k up!!!!! It is not hard to loose weight at all!!!!! I was 6″1 and close to 240. That is way!!!! Unhealthy. Now I am 6″3 and140. So sack up will you immature son of a bi$th. if any of you think it’s hard to get slimmer it’s not!!!! It’s called stoping snacking so put down your cookies and Pringles and go for a walk instead!!!! I sware if just one person here would just practice what they preach and try it!!!!! Obesity all around the world would be completly obliterated. And just a thing any one who is under 6″0 and weighs more than 170 lbs should really really!!!! Take head. It’s really hard on your heart and skeletal system to be able to support you!!!! Welcome to hypertension and a one way ticket to rumitoid arthritis like pain!!

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  98. “your weight doesn’t have any necessary relationship to your health”

    That is simply incorrect according to almost all medical literature. Physical and mental health are both important, so it is good that you feel positive. But at the same obesity is a huge health concern on an enormous scale. Being “fat” is subjective, it could mean you’re slightly above average, or you could be morbidly obese. It is important to distinguish between being extremely unhealthy “fat” and close-to-normal-health-risk “fat.” Skinny people can also have the same health risks if they eat like crap, but the fact remains: obesity increases the risks significantly of numerous disorders, irrespective of whether or not you’re okay with your weight.

  99. “I’m fat positive because I like to hike and swim and do yoga. But bizarrely, while there’s an overwhelming sense of hostility to just being a fat lady living my life, that hostility is heightened immensely when I’m seen working out. (You’d think they’d like to see me doing something that’s associated with weight loss, wouldn’t you?)”

    I think you’re making an overgeneralization here and assuming that the diet and gym industry somehow dictates how everyone else thinks. There are always going to be uneducated morons who somehow think that because you eat less/exercise more/etc you will be thinner. For one, I totally agree with you – healthy is important, but healthy does not mean skinny. It means doing all the things you’ve mentioned, such as eating right and keeping an active lifestyle. Plenty of people – myself included – are just happy to see other people of any size/weight/whatever living out that kind of lifestyle. I am never phased by someone’s size, but I do get worried about people who obviously are out of shape (by which I mean, for example, seeing someone winded from walking across a parking lot, or so skinny they look weak). I am appalled by the number of people who still eat processed and fast food day in and day out and who do no form of exercise at all — why are we not educating people on what a healthy body actually means?

  100. This post was a farce. There’s no way to be fat and healthy and I pray this land whale doesn’t live in Canada where I’ll inevitably end up paying for her by passes and heart surgeries and diabetes related complications.

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  102. First of all, I would like to commend you for being unabashedly yourself and Loving what you feel you cannot change.

    I, myself, have always been tiny. I have never weighed more than 105 pounds, yet am generally one of the healthiest people that I know, physically and emotionally. It astounds me when people look at my size with disdain or jealousy. I hear things like, “real women have plenty of meat on their bones,” or, “I wish that I could look like you.”

    This all seems strange to me. When I have been abusive to my body, my weight has dropped to dangerous levels. When I am lazy, my weight is low, but my body is drained. Only when I am active and listening to my body do I feel happy, comfortable, and worthy.

    That being said, I am curious about your statement regarding your inability to drop below a size 20. Why is that? Is it a thyroid issue? Have you considered that you may have food allergies, of which you are unaware? I have some friends that made extraordinary, important changes to their bodies, once th very discovered their food allergens. These changes were far more serious than weight, but it may all be related.

    I do not seek to change you, but am very curious. Feel free to contact me at the email address that I provided. Stay strong and beautiful.

  103. Reblogged this on depressionica and commented:
    I found this on the wonderful website BUST magazine. I think it is important I keep this in mind as with the medications I take being overweight is not something I can prevent or help (at all! even with amphetamines!). It has made me really depressed and definitely makes me want to not take my meds and be depressed but of course skinny. Being overweight is NOT something I am used to. I grew up one of those skinny girls who ate bags of oreo cookies and ice cream out of the box and remained a size small. I have lost a lot of confidence not being a size 0 and I know everyone is like “boo-hoooo I’ve never been a small blah blah blah”. I have really low self esteem and that was one of the things I noticed people were jealous of (not that it made me anymore friends). Oh well, I guess size 2 to 12, I got curves now and lots of muscle.

  104. This blog is a good example of how a real beatiful women with flaws tell it like it is. I thought ur blog was just brilliant as a feminist of colour the media society paints a dim picture of how a women should be..4 those out there embrace what the lord gave you, yolo

  105. It is rare for me to uncover something on the web thats as entertaining and intriguing as what you have got here. Your page is sweet, your graphics are great, and whats much more, you use source that are relevant to what youre saying. That you are undoubtedly one in a million, well done! gbddceefbadd

  106. Heya im for the first time here. I discovered this board and I to uncover It truly helpful &amp it helped me out a whole lot. I hope to supply something back and aid other people such as you helped me. bcggdeckekcb

  107. Do you have any idea why women were kept out of athletics before Feminism? Even the Ancient Greeks knew that encouraging women to be soft-bodied and unathletic made them physically and psychology controllable. Modern science says the chief reason is that fat holds estrogen, which makes for more emotionality and lethargy. So you all can embrace this fat-positive approach, but know that it’s forging a society of complacent, weak individuals.

  108. Don’t understand why people are bothered by fat people. Unless they are blocking the stairs or something, or didn’t leave you any of your coffee cake you bought to share, what does their fat have to do with anything. I’m nearing 30 and seem to have developed a bit of a squish belly and people (well meaning female friends mostly) ask me why I don’t start sucking it in and sit up straight so my dress will lay flat. Um because my breathing and being comfortable trumps you having someone thin to view, or to watch
    creepy men view as you give a thumbs up. What are you doing? My squish belly never did anything to you!

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  110. No coincidence at all that this ” fat pride” drivel has eminated from the most greedy, self-indulgent consumer state that the west has to offer (dont worry the UK isn’t far off – you won’t be alone for long). Embarrassing victim culture on display in full.

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